


All In One

by Ziallshippingislife



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, M/M, Narry - Freeform, ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-01 14:18:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 44,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2776118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ziallshippingislife/pseuds/Ziallshippingislife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The only thing was that Niall couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself fall that hard so carelessly ever again. The dangers of heartbreak were way too high. Nothing was there to catch you from that traumatic fall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of coffee was warming up Niall’s insides as he made his way into Connie’s Coffee Shop at a very early time of seven in the morning. He yawned as he walked into the back tying up his apron around his slim waist and slipping on his visor atop his blonde locks, checking himself in the mirror to make sure everything was in place before he sauntered his way to punch himself in for another long nine hour shift at work.

What made the day even worse was the fact that it was the last day of Niall’s summer vacation. He sighed thinking about it again. Tomorrow would be his first day of college. His first day starting the beginning of his career. He smiled through his tiredness knowing he needed to put on a cheerful face for all of his customers. He wouldn’t hear the end of it from Connie if a customer complained again. It wasn’t his fault his tired face wasn’t exactly the friendliest.

“Good Morning Niall sweetheart!” A loud booming voice rang through the shop and Niall couldn’t help the small smile tugging at his lips as he saw his best friend/coworker running into the shop. Niall chuckled to himself as he checked the clock on the screen, shaking his head.

“Less than two minutes.” Niall stated, and Harry slammed his hands down on the counter as Niall threw his apron and visor at him draping it across his face, covering one of his eyes and the hat rested upon his head flipped upside down and backwards. Harry’s bright, flashing green eyes were even more stunning when the boy was tired because they seemed to pop against the sleepy redness. His curly hair was strewn across his forehead, obviously still wet from a quick shower and not being brushed.

“Two minutes, no sweat!” He chirped and jumped over the counter startling Niall a bit making the boy’s smile widen while catching the sound of Connie yelling at him coming from the other side of the shop. If there was one thing Harry was good at, it was being late. He was known for it. Ever since Niall had met the boy he couldn’t remember one time where he wasn’t late, or close to being. He just had no sense of time. Niall didn’t really mind since he understood since he was a little that way himself, but Connie was going to flip if he was late yet again. He had a reputation for last minute showing.

As the clock struck seven Niall plastered that smile onto his face once again. He knew it was going to be a very long day, but he didn’t mind that much especially if it was him and Harry today. He loved working with the taller boy. Harry always made things fun and interesting. Also, Harry was very good at his job, which made Niall’s easier as well. He might seem it at first, but Harry was anything but lazy. Except when he was sleeping in until noon everyday, but at work he was always on top of everything. He knew when to have fun, but he also knew when to be serious.

As Niall was making himself a cup of delicious coffee for the morning rush an arm was slung across his shoulders pulling him in making him chuckle.

“Made it.” Harry winked at him. He let go then turning around and punching himself in with fourteen seconds to spare.

“You know,” Niall started capping his cup of coffee, “you could always wake up with me and make it here a little earlier.”

Harry laughed then, and Niall smiled, but rolled his eyes at his friend.

“Yeah right.” He said tightening his apron around his hips. “No thanks early bird, there’s no way I’m waking up any earlier than the latest I can to possibly have time to still get here.”

Niall chuckled once again, and noticed a few people making their way into the shop. He gave Harry a nod, and one was returned as they both teamed up to start the first short little rush. Whenever they would get customers, it would be in short bursts in the morning, and then gradually as the afternoon came along it would die down to a few people here and there. This time of the year wasn’t particularly busy.

When all the customers seemed to be pleased and on their way Niall glanced over at Harry then, and saw the boy smiling back wiping down a glass coffee mug. His dimples prominent on his face. He leaned back on the counter and crossed his arms staring back at the blonde.

“Can’t believe it’s over already.” Harry sighed out kicking his shoe into the tile. His glance had cast downwards, but his smile hadn’t faded from his face.“Seems like yesterday was the first of it all. The first day of summer, the first day on the job and the first day meeting you.”

Niall grinned back at him, slowly nodding in agreement. He was right. High School had ended so instantly, and just like everything else, so had his summer vacation. He never would have thought he would have made it through this one.

After graduation he was quick to pack up all of things and move on. His life was moving fast and he was riding along with it, perfectly fine of escaping his hometown and everyone he knew. The end of his high school career wasn’t exactly a perfect one, but it was fun while it lasted. He said goodbye to all of his friends he would probably never see again, hugged his mother, father and brother and told them he was off, and shipped himself all the way to London so he could find himself a new job for the promising summer to come.

It wasn’t until the rude awakening of reality hit him that he realized that up and leaving was a lot harder than he thought. His mother had tried to tell him to think before he acted, but he disregarded her advice, but hey, at that time he wasn’t in the right state of mind to do any rational thinking. He wasn’t thinking at all for that matter, all he wanted was to get away, to leave as soon as possible, to get away from him, and that’s exactly what he did.

He struggled to find a job at first. No where was hiring. And if he didn’t have a job then he couldn’t have an apartment. He knew his mother and father were helping him out financially, but he knew he had to keep up with his promise to help pay at all times.

It was his third week of living in a motel and he was cleaning himself dry of his money when he stumbled upon a cute little coffee shop at the end of town. He wandered in and thought he would just sit down for a while, drink some coffee and then be on his way, but when a help wanted sign had caught his eye in the corner of the window he popped out of his seat and scribbled down all of his information on the application and handed it to a curly headed green eyed boy behind the counter.

 _“Could you give this to the manager please?”_ He had asked sweetly, making sure he would make a good first impression. He needed a job, and he needed it badly. The pretty boy behind the counter checked over the application and smiled back up at Niall, startling him with his dazzling smile.

 _“I’ll put in a good word for you. It’s about time we got another guy around here.”_ He winked at him then. _“And you’re also not that bad to look at.”_ Niall couldn’t help but blush a little bit, but the boy turned away and handed another woman on shift his application. He watched on as they whispered back and forth to each other, scanning over the paper, and as he was about to wave goodbye and walk away, a hand reached out and grabbed his wrist.

 _“So is there anyway you could start this afternoon?”_ A giant smile formed on Niall’s face and the curly haired boy returned one as he instantly nodded his head.

 _“Yes, absolutely, thank you so much!”_ Niall exclaimed stunned that he had received the job so quickly or that he even had one at all. The boy’s grip on his wrist relaxed then and he smiled back even wider.

_“My names Harry by the way, it’s very nice to meet you Niall.”_

That was almost three months ago, and now here they were working the shop like it was no big deal. Niall will never forget that first day where he made a mess of absolutely everything. He never thought a little shop like this required so much work, but it really amazed him.

Now he and Harry are like the dream team together, never making a mistake and getting everything they needed done before they left for the day. Of course the two had flaws, with Harry being constantly late and Niall getting distracted by the television which liked to play his favorite sports while on shift, but the two were the best employees Connie had.

“You were so lost just three months ago.” Harry mentioned then, and Niall can remember back to the time where he was just wandering from motel to motel trying to find a good place to stay. There really wasn’t a perfect place for him, and he was stubborn about his living space so he needed to make sure everything was right just for him.

“True, but I had you looking out for me.” He spoke back to Harry and said boy cocked his head to the side still staring at Niall with beaming eyes.

“That is very true. I took you in like a lost little puppy, completely terrified and confused by the London streets.” He joked, causing the blonde to roll his eyes. “Hey, I wasn’t that much of a lost cause, but you did help me out.”

“I was your knight in shining armor.” Harry faked pulling out a sword and put a hand on his hip while smiling a giant goofy smile which was contagious and Niall couldn’t help but let a grin spread over his own face. He threw a towel at Harry then, but the boy caught it before it could slap him in the face.

“I guess you were, who knows where I would be if you weren’t there.” Niall told him, a serious tone in his voice, because he knew if Harry hadn’t offered to have Niall come stay with him, he would probably still be looking for a place to stay like the picky fool he was.

Harry had an extra bedroom and Niall couldn’t say no. It really was a perfect place, right around the corner from work, and right down the street from his school. It was a cute little apartment too, and he knew Harry was going to be a great roommate. The boy knew how to have fun, and he reminded Niall of himself in so many ways.

“And now I have a new best friend plus a cute roommate all in one.” Harry winked at him, and Niall chuckled ignoring another one of his flirtatious looks and comments.

“Shut up, dork.”

“Never.”

~      ~      ~      ~      ~

Niall’s annoying alarm clock had been going off for about three minutes, and his eyes were wide open, but he had no energy or motivation to get out of bed and stop the loud obnoxious sound. It was the first day of his new college career and he knew this day was coming, but he still wished it hadn’t come upon him yet.

“If you don’t shut off that alarm I’m going to come in there and beat your face in.” A dark growl came from across the hall, and Niall couldn’t help the small giggle flow past his lips at Harry’s threat. He knew the boy hated waking up any earlier than he possibly had to, so he knew Harry could at least sleep for another thirty minutes.

Niall groaned and eventually dragged himself out of bed. He knew he needed to get a move on if he was going to have time for his daily routine. He smiled to himself though as an evil thought came to mind. He didn’t really want to walk to school by himself like he usually would for work because Harry would sleep in. So as soon as he dressed himself in a dark maroon hoodie and some ripped jeans he ran out of his bedroom and into Harry’s.

He saw how he was just a giant lump on his bed and he didn’t waste any time jumping on the boy making him shout and gasp out loud.

“Wake up you lazy ass!” Niall yelled sprawling himself out on top of Harry. He knew he was asking for a beating, but he didn’t care. He knew if he used his pleading face enough with him he would eventually agree. Harry could never say no to him.

“Niall I am going to kill you if you do not get off of me in three seconds.” Harry warned, and the blonde couldn’t suppress his giggle as Harry’s fingers dug into his sides making him slide off beside him.

“C’mon, walk to school with me. I don’t want to go alone.” He begged, poking Harry’s head which was now under a pillow trying to shut out the light and Niall’s voice echoing in his room. He thought long and hard about this, because he was contemplating on going back to sleep and throwing Niall out of his room, but he wasn’t that cold. Besides, he’d do anything for Niall.

“Fine.” He reluctantly agreed. “But you have to go make me breakfast.”

“Deal.” Niall stated instantly and was hopping off Harry’s bed and running into the kitchen as fast as possible. He wanted to make pancakes because he knew that would be the only thing to make Harry want to get out of bed. Harry loved chocolate chip pancakes.

As they both got themselves ready for school while dragging their feet a little bit not really wanting to go, they decided to take breakfast on the road and eat on their way. Niall’s stomach was doing little flips as he was thinking of the first day. He always got nervous about new things. This was a whole new rodeo. A bunch of new people and a lot of new classes.

He was excited, but then again he just wished he was on his way to work getting ready to make some coffee and also some money which he desperately needed more of. It was simpler when things were familiar and easy, but he knew soon this would be just as simple.

Harry obviously could feel him tense up as they finally made their way to the steps of the school. It was a big place, and there were tons of people swarming in every single part of the outside building. It was almost overwhelming and it made him feel smaller than he already was. He sighed out as Harry wrapped his arm around the smaller boy’s shoulder trying to coax him into easing up.

“I don’t want to go inside.” Niall sighed then, molding himself into Harry’s embrace.

“Oh quit your complaining. You knew this was coming sooner or later.” Harry told him. He knew Niall was easily scared by a lot of people and a sudden change, but he knew he could overcome it.

“Yeah I know and I really wanted it to be later, but still.” He paused, and shoved his bag over his shoulder a little more then as he felt it slipping.

“I feel like this summer went by way too fast. I feel like I didn’t live it to it’s full potential.”

“Hey, don’t think that way. We made a lot of good memories this summer.” Harry let his arm unwrap itself from around Niall and started to walk towards the building. Niall quickly hopped after him, trying not to lose him in the giant crowd of people. Harry smiled seeing him grab onto his shirt. “Personally it was the best summer of my entire life, especially since I met you and spent all my time with you.”

Niall smiled seeing Harry grin right back at him. This summer did have a lot of memories attached to it. Harry knew how to entertain, and Niall loved that about him. He took him out to parties and clubs and introduced him to all of his friends, and Harry had an overwhelming lot of friends. Niall was shy at first but Harry didn’t understand that since he was always so open with him.

Harry thought it was cute the way Niall would blush and almost hide behind him as he introduced him to many different people. Harry was well known around town since his parents were very well respected in the business department. He knew a lot of people and he had a lot of hook ups and friends to get him the things he wanted.

Harry’s favorite memory of the summer was when Niall was so drunk he couldn’t stand himself up without the help of someone else. That day Harry learned how open and confident Niall was when he had a lot of alcohol in his system. He knew the boy wasn’t really himself, but that’s the night he told Harry everything. He told him he didn’t like girls and he would appreciate it if he would stop trying to hook him up with them because he did in fact like boys, and Harry laughed laying the giggling blonde down in bed as he promised he would find him a nice bloke next time.

He laid down with him, and they talked and talked until Niall ended up falling asleep cuddled into Harry’s side, snoring away the alcohol in his bloodstream. Harry’s heart also felt a little funny that night.

Niall laughed as he saw Harry continue to smile at him, never breaking his gaze on the boy.

“Well, you know I am the greatest.” Niall gloated making Harry’s smile even wider.

“You know I think you are.” He flirted, and Niall chuckled and rolled his eyes and while doing so let his eyes catch a glance at the giant school once again.

“I guess we should get inside.” He sighed out, once again fixing his bag but not letting his grip on Harry’s shirt go.

“C’mon it won’t be that bad, you’re gonna make it through the first day. I believe in you.” Harry assured him, lacing some sarcasm in his voice and Niall could only chuckle and shake his head as Harry stuck his tongue out at him.

“Smart ass.”

Everything was almost too overwhelming as both boys made their way into the giant school. There were people standing around, some even running through the halls and some others just casually passing by. He tried to stay as close to Harry as possible without trying to crowd the taller boy.

Niall did notice, as they walked through the cafeteria, the multiple places for pizza, donuts and many other sweets. He smiled and continued on his way catching up with Harry again as he realized he let go of his shirt when he became distracted and dropped behind.

“Alright.” Harry sighed out then taking out his schedule and looking at the numbers which expressed what room they needed to head to.

“I think it’s down this hallway.” Niall tugged on Harry’s sleeve and checked to see if he was correct. The room 238 was right down the hall and Niall was now leading the way with Harry following close behind him. They were both thrilled that they had their first class together. Both of them had their English Composition class and Niall knew it wasn’t going to exactly be his favorite class of the day but it was required. Besides having Harry in his class would certainly make things a little easier for him.

Niall wasn’t sure why but ever since he was a little kid he was always so shy. It was hard for him to open up to people. He would blush easily and his pale skin would shine bright and people would sometimes think he was weird or strange, but he couldn’t help it. He tried to stop himself from acting this way and with some practice he got a little better, but it seemed no matter how hard he tried to completely get rid of it, his heart would still flutter while meeting new people and doing new things.

Making small talk would make him stutter, and then he would clam up because he sounded stupid and he didn’t want others to think poorly of him. That’s why he doesn’t like to speak up in conversation. He was fine just listening.

When he met Harry though it was different. Niall felt comfortable around him from the moment he met the curly haired lad. Of course he was still a little bit nervous at first and Harry realized this, but he knew how to get the boy to open up. When you talked about things Niall liked he wouldn’t be so shy. When he was confident and genuinely happy he wouldn’t get all flustered. Of course the small talk of getting to know each other at first was rough for him, but Harry knew how to make Niall not feel overwhelmed like so many other people.

Also with Harry’s completely opposite attitude he seemed to have transfered over some of his confidence to Niall. Now when Niall met some of Harry’s friends it wasn’t as hard for him to open up and talk. Of course he was still nervous inside, but it really amazed Harry at how much he had changed from when he first introduced him to his best friends Liam and Louis.

He chuckled as he remembered the boy practically hiding behind him trying hard not to talk to them, but Liam and Louis being just like Harry, made sure that they and Niall were going to be good friends.

When they reached the classroom door Harry stepped inside and took in the surroundings. He and Niall both groaned seeing the size of the class. There were about fifty people in the small room, and not everyone had even arrived yet knowing that there was still another ten minutes for people to show up.

Niall was quick to try and find a seat pulling Harry along with him as they grabbed two seats in the second last row. They threw their bags over the backs of the chairs and Harry sighed once again.

“Shit.” Was all he said as he noticed how no one in the room looked exactly friendly. He was guessing it was just because of the time of day that people had scowls on their faces, but still they didn’t need to look so miserable. He began to unpack a few things from his bag and when he looked back up at the blonde boy next him to ask if he could borrow a pen because of course he forgot one, his heart dropped at the absolutely terrified look on the shorter boy’s face.

“No...” Niall whispered then, his eyes going wide and his heart practically stopping in his chest. He felt like the muscles around his ribs were contracting and squeezing his torso tighter and tighter making it hard to breathe.

“Niall? What’s wrong?” Harry asked quickly, his voice laced with concern.

Niall could feel his heart beat all over his body but the core of the heavy thudding had seemed to drop from his chest to the pit of his stomach. A sick feeling was washing over him as he tore his eyes away from the sight he had just seen. He felt like screaming. He couldn’t tell if he was furious or just so upset he couldn’t think.

“N-No this- this isn’t- this can’t be happening.” He stuttered out quietly. He quickly began to pack up his things. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. His mind was racing with disbelief and misfortune.

“Niall what’s going on?” Harry spoke again grabbing at Niall’s fast moving hands, which were throwing everything into his bag, trying to stop them. Class was starting in five minutes, where the hell did he think he was possibly going?

“Harry.” Niall’s voice sounded so desperate he winced. His eyes were wide with what looked to be pain and he couldn’t understand what in the world had just happened to his friend in less than two minutes. One second he was looking at him with a shy smile plastered on the boy’s face and the next he looked back and it contorted into pure terror. “W-we have to get out of here please-”

“Niall what on earth are you talking abo-”

“Niall?” Said boy stiffened, his entire body slumped in defeat. “Niall is that you?!” Harry then looked over Niall’s shoulder to someone running towards them, but noticed how Niall almost refused to turn around. He gulped as he felt Niall rip his hands away, which they obviously had started to shake. He slowly turned around letting his face be seen and he threw on a dashing fake smile.“Niall no way! It is you!”

Niall gasped as the person slammed into him dragging him into a hug.

“I haven’t seen you in so long I’ve missed you!”

The arms familiar. The warmth of the body heat settling over his own skin. The beat of the others heart pressed to his own. He slowly let his weak arms grasp the other as his mind and heart flashed between confusion and hurt.

“Z-Zayn..” He whispered out, his fingers digging and tangling themselves into the back of his shirt. He felt almost desperate with the way his fingers squabbled at the loose black t shirt Zayn wore, but somehow he couldn’t help it.

Zayn then pulled away and his smile was so wide Niall thought his face was going to break. The true happiness in his eyes made Niall’s heart stutter in pain and he had to look away. Even now it still seemed like he was the only one who was suffering.

“Where have you been these past three months? Niall you disappeared, and- I just can’t believe it’s you!” Zayn exclaimed placing his hands on the boy‘s shoulders trying to get the boy to look back at him. He continued to look him up and down, seeing how the short time had changed his smaller friend. “Look at you! You’ve changed a bit!”

Zayn poked the top of Niall’s head and chuckled a bit and Niall continued to smile, faking it the best he could, but obviously Zayn didn’t seem to pick up on it.

“You’re not that adorable little brunette I used to know that’s for sure, you dyed your hair so you’re a cute little blonde now, and you’ve been working out haven’t you?”

Niall’s heart was choking itself he felt like the oxygen wasn’t circulating through him. His lungs felt like they were collapsed. He had no idea the effect of seeing Zayn again would have done this to him. He suddenly felt insecure as he noticed the way Zayn’s eyes were roaming over his body.

“Y-Yeah I guess I just needed a new look.” He pointed out, running a hand through his hair. He saw how Zayn’s eyes crinkled up then as he smiled even bigger. Niall blushed because seeing that smile again was doing weird things to his insides.

“Well I think you look great.” He told him, Niall’s blush increasing. Zayn still had yet to notice. “It’s been so long I swear one minute I was saying goodbye to you at graduation, and then the next day I went to your house and Maura told me you moved away.” Niall looked up at him then seeing the cryptic sadness in his features.

Niall wanted to roll his eyes. He almost wanted to scream. He couldn’t tell if Zayn was being ignorant or if he was just that damn oblivious, but he continued on anyway.

“I was so upset that you left without saying goodbye, but she told me you didn’t really say anything to anyone, so I guess you had your reasons.”

Niall felt himself clench one of his fists. He couldn’t believe him. Even after all this time he still didn’t get it. He still didn’t understand that he was the damn reason he left as soon as he had the chance.

“Yeah, I um, I just thought that London couldn’t wait for me anymore.” He lied, biting back the words he really wanted to say.

“I missed you, Ni, I can’t believe you’re here. I didn’t know we were attending the same college, you never did tell me where you got accepted to.” He said, still smiling at Niall, and he wished he would stop and walk away. He didn’t really feel like his heart could withstand much more of him.

Niall gave a short gasp then as he felt a soft little nudge to his side and he looked over to see Harry giving him a slight smile. He almost completely forgot he was even there. Niall gave a small genuine grin then as he felt Harry squeeze his shoulder in reassurance. He always knew when Niall was upset, there was no way he could hide it from him.

“O-oh um Harry this is-” Niall went to introduce but was cut off as Zayn’s hand snapped up and shook the other boy’s instantly. Harry let a bigger smile appear on his face then matching Zayn’s.

“I’m Zayn, one of Niall’s good friends from high school.” He informed him and Harry nodded then, understanding what this little reunion was all about.

“Nice to meet you.” He said politely letting his eyes scan over the boy. He was almost the same height as him, but he was the complete opposite of Harry. He had jet black hair and deep dark brown eyes with light chocolate swirls. His skin was darker in contrast to his, and he couldn’t help but notice his sharp cheekbones and captivating smile.

“Zayn!” A sharp bright startling voice called over form the other side of the room, and Harry and Niall both tried to pinpoint where it had came from. Zayn looked over his shoulder panicked and bit his lip.

“Shit that’s Annaleise.” He mentioned, and Niall once again felt like a giant weight slammed down onto his heart. Zayn then turned around but looked over his shoulder waving. “Well I got to get going, but Ni I’ll text you yeah? We gotta catch up. 

“Y-Yeah okay.” Niall agreed even though he really wanted to just blow Zayn off but he knew he never could.

“I’m so glad I ran into you. I missed you so much.” More stabs at Niall’s heart as he spoke those words, and now he felt the tears approaching as all the memories were flooding his mind. “We’re gonna hang out this week okay?”

“Sure..”

“Alright well I gotta go before Anna freaks out so, see ya! Nice meeting you Harry!” Zayn was then running off and Harry was waving after him. He tried to keep on that smile, but the entire thing was a little awkward. He could almost feel the barrier Niall was trying to build but it was blatantly obvious Zayn had no idea he was putting it up.

“You guys were good friends right?” He asked then, trying to loosen Niall up a bit. The kid looked like he was going to burst into tears or fits of rage and anger, and he was really hoping he was reading him wrong, but usually Harry knew. He looked over to him again and noticed the beginning of a few tears that were silently streaming down the blondes face. Harry couldn’t believe it. “Niall holy shit are you okay?”

“N-No. I’m not, I’m a-anything but.” Niall stuttered wiping away the tears instantly, and grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room. Harry was shocked but quickly grabbed his own things and started to run after him. What in the hell just happened in the past five minutes that he did not catch?

Niall slammed the bathroom door open then, which luckily was empty, and pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes trying to suppress the stupid tears that were tumbling past his lids. He knew this would happen. He knew he was going to lose it. He was just happy he didn’t break down in front of Zayn.

He couldn’t believe it. Everything was coming back to hit him full force. Everything he was trying to forget. Every single happy memory and every horrible heart break. His mind was slamming in his skull feeling like his brain was about to pop out his ears.

He could hear Harry behind him and when he made his own way into the bathroom, Niall saw the confused and concerned look on his face which made more tears pour out of him.

“Fuck!” He screamed kicking the wall in frustration. He couldn’t believe he was having a fucking crying attack in school on his first day in front of his best friend. He was so embarrassing he hated it. But he just couldn’t stop crying.

“Hey, shh. It’s okay.” Harry moved in then and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy who quickly did the same molding himself to Harry’s taller form. He ran his fingers through his hair trying to calm him down some. He was shaking, but Harry could tell it was more from anger and less from tears.

“I- can’t- this is-what the fucking- unbelievable.” Niall was stammering, trying to figure out exactly how he felt. He was annoyed, confused, irritated, heart broken and so in love all at the same time and it was making him nauseous.

“Niall breathe, c’mon.” Harry spoke to him, rubbing his back now. He had never seen Niall this way before and he wasn’t exactly sure how to handle it, but he was trying his best.

As he held him a little longer and he felt the boy’s breathing come to a normal rate he let his arms go a little slack and pulled Niall back to look at him.

“Who the hell was that guy to you anyway, what’s gone on between you two?” He asked genuinely curious as to what exactly that Zayn guy did to make Niall a crying seething mess like this.

“He’s m-my fucking nightmare.” Niall whispered out, his gaze going towards the ground.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Harry asked again, trying to get Niall to open up a little. He wanted to help him but he couldn’t if he had no idea what was going on. He then let his mind flip into many different scenarios and the first one that popped to mind made his grip tighten on Niall’s shoulder.

“Did he do something to you?” He questioned, his voice going almost an octave lower. Harry didn’t even want to think of it. Zayn didn’t really give off that impression but people can surprise you and if he did anything to physically hurt Niall he was going to kill him.

Niall’s eyes widened almost instantly quickly shaking his head.

“N-No Harry, nothing like that. Zayn would never harm me physically.” He said, his name still feeling weird on his tongue as he spoke it. “I was- supposed to forget him this summer. Fuck, he was supposed to leave forever!” He screamed out again as he realized everything he had worked for had turned to an absolute waste.

Harry noticed Niall’s hands clenching in anger and he was quickly rubbing his hands over his shoulders trying to get him to calm down a little bit as he was now gritting his teeth. His eyes were red and were once again welling up with tears.

“Hey, it’s okay. I swear it’s gonna be alright.” He promised him, and Niall listened trying to breathe evenly. He closed his eyes and breathed out a few times trying to calm himself down. Harry couldn’t help the worried look in his features. “Niall you’re scaring me I have never seen you this upset before.”

“I-I’m okay.” He sighed out, trying to give his best friend a smile to assure him he was alright. “It’s just- it caught me really off guard. I didn’t think I was ever going to see Zayn again. I never wanted too.” He said bitterly, biting his cheek.

“Why’s that?” Harry questioned, trying not to be too pushy, but he couldn’t help his curiosity. Niall sighed and rubbed at his left eye while shaking his head.

“I-I really don’t want to talk about it...” He admitted. He really, really hated talking about it He tried so desperately to forget everything Zayn had done to him. Every lie he told, and every bullshit stunt he pulled.

This summer he had tried to eliminate all of his ties to Zayn, and he had almost succeeded, but now he was back at square one, realizing that no matter how much he wanted to forget he knew he never really could. His heart was still with him, and there was no way that was ever going to change.

“Okay, but tell me later, promise?” Harry tried getting him to agree, and Niall nodded his head slowly. He knew he couldn’t just not tell Harry. Besides he’d find out one way or another.

“I will, just not right now okay?”

“Okay, and stop those tears. You’re too pretty to cry.” Harry said, smiling down at the boy bringing Niall’s face up by placing his thumb under his chin. Niall couldn’t help but let a small blush dust over his cheeks. His heart fluttered a bit as he caught the look in Harry’s eyes staring at him.

“Oh stop it.” He chuckled then lightly slapping Harry’s hand away.

“Turn that frown upside down and show me that beautiful smile of yours.” Harry demanded then and placed his fingers at the corners of Niall’s mouth and pushed up forcing the boy to smile. Niall pushed at him lightly and gave a laugh wholeheartedly. “Adorable, now c’mon we’re late for our first class of the day.”

Harry grabbed Niall’s wrist and dragged him out of the bathroom and both boy’s then headed back towards their first class, with Harry cracking joke after joke trying to make the smaller boy smile, even if it was just a little.

~      ~      ~      ~      ~

“Have a good day!” Niall smiled at a customer who was leaving Connie’s coffee shop with a large french vanilla latte. He let out a tired sigh. It was almost two in the afternoon now and his shift was almost done.

He was working with Elisha this morning since Harry had taken this morning off wanting to sleep in on a Saturday. He had used the excuse of saying how he needed at least one weekend day to sleep in or else he would break down for the rest of the upcoming week. Niall rolled his eyes but smiled thinking of the boy who was probably still sleeping cuddled up next to his pillow.

He was definitely tired though from his lack of sleep this entire week. He couldn’t get Zayn off his mind lately and it seemed the harder he tried the more he thought about him. His feelings were trying to eat him alive telling him how much he wanted to be with and see Zayn, but his mind was scolding him letting him know he was smarter than that.

He was in his dreams again giving false scenarios that would never happen which would play over and over again in his screwed up mind. He tried to block it out, but nothing he did was working. He tried to distract himself with work and school but Zayn was constantly wedging himself into some portion of Niall’s daily routine.

When the clock struck two the boy threw off his visor and untied his apron and threw them in his back cubby. He had to get home and start writing that three paged paper which was due on Monday. He was hoping that Harry would help him write it, but he would probably tell him to screw off.

He ran his fingers through his blonde locks trying to fix his hat hair as the door of the coffee shop flew open.

“Hello, my beautiful sunshine!” Niall was startled as Harry busted into the shop then with a bag over his shoulder filled with a good amount of items. His face was bright and cheerful and Niall laughed wondering what in the world he was doing here on his day off.

“Harry?”

“Yes, you are probably wondering why I am here.” He noticed Niall’s expression but his smile didn’t falter. “We’re going out to lunch.”

“We are?” Niall questioned, his natural smile taking over his lips then seeing how Harry was now reaching out towards him, beckoning for him to follow.

“C’mon! I have it all planned out. Let’s get a move on!” Niall didn’t have time to argue as Harry ran right back out of the door with his hand in the air heading towards the park on the other side of the street. Niall quickly jogged after him, only catching up after he ran at full speed. Harry winked at him when he caught up and Niall returned a smile, but the rest of the way was silent as they walked through the beautiful park.

This was a place that Harry and Niall would escape to after their long nights at the coffee shop. It was always a magnificent place to lay back and watch the stars of the night. They had many good laughs here, and Niall smiled remembering the first night he and Harry laid under the biggest tree in the entire park naming it their official hang out spot.

They continued to the exact place that Niall knew they were going to. Right under their tree which was starting to lose some of it’s leaves now due to the time of year. It was a pretty sight though, and Niall saw how Harry was spreading out a patterned blanket down for them. The polka dots flew in the wind before laying down perfectly onto the grass and Harry sat himself down cross legged and gestured for Niall to do the same.

Niall’s smile continued to widen. Harry always brought Niall out for many cliche things. Niall didn’t mind at all though. It was always another fun day with Harry. He then brought out the heavy bag and started to pull out a few items. Niall started to laugh when he saw how Harry’s big preparations of this extravagant park lunch was only going to have juice boxes and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with chocolate covered strawberries. Harry then set up a plate for both him and Niall passing him a juice box plus a napkin and smiling wide.

“Now what do you think?” He questioned gesturing to the food laid out in front of them.

“I think you’re a dork.” He jokingly picked on him and Harry shrugged his shoulders his grin still prominent on his face.

“Oh c’mon it’s not exactly perfect but-”

“Why are we having a picnic again?” Niall piped in before Harry could finish his sentence. The younger looked around at the picnic blanket then running his fingers along the patterns before speaking up.

“Because I thought you could use some cheering up.” He told him honestly. “You’ve been weird all week.” Niall frowned then seeing a hidden emotion written in Harry’s expression not exactly being able to read it. He had been off lately, and he couldn’t help the sudden depressed mood he was having.

He didn’t want to act this way. He wished that having Zayn back in his life didn’t create such a hole in his heart but no matter how many times he tried to tell himself to get over it and patch over those memories, he just couldn’t. It seemed like Zayn was almost trying to get him to remember. It was almost like he wanted Niall to feel this way, and that’s where Niall’s anger was bubbling.

Now it was effecting Harry, and that was the last thing he ever wanted. He instantly felt guilty thinking about how all week he said he didn’t have anytime for him, along with the look on Harry’s face right now making his heart clench.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to be acting strange.” He apologized, his gaze shifting before settling on Harry again. Niall was shocked to see the wide smile already beaming on his face again.

“That’s why I thought a picnic might cheer you up! We can spend the last of the next few nice days together outside enjoying the weather.” Niall’s mood seemed to lift as a fond smile took over on his face. He saw how Harry’s eyes held sincerity in them and that made him feel one hundred times better. Harry always knew how to cheer him up, and this time was no different.

“Thanks Harry.” He whispered then, his eyes fixated on his hands now with his fingers twiddling together.

“It’s no problem love.” Harry bit his lip as he saw Niall’s slight smile feeling successful. They both then picked up their sandwiches and started to eat, and if Harry could say so himself he made a pretty great peanut butter sandwich.

For some reason though, his eyes wouldn’t budge from staring at the blonde boy in front of him. A breeze started to pick up making his light t shirt flip up in the wind while his feather soft hair danced along into his eyes. Harry felt a slight blush form on his cheeks as Niall’s pink tongue came out to swipe his bottom lip clearing off some of the jelly which had dropped there.

“But Niall,” Harry spoke again, biting the inside of his cheek and leaning on his left arm. “Can you tell me now?” His voice was hopeful and he could see the little sign of confusion on Niall’s face as his eyes once again flickered towards him, but he needed to know. He wanted to know why his best friend was acting so strange as the result of that guy who was continously making an appearance whenever he was with Niall. It was bothering him like crazy not knowing what was going on in that little blonde head of his.

And Harry knew that Niall knew exactly what he was talking about with that little twitch in his lips being a tell, but he saw how he tried to play it off.

“Tell you what?”

“That guy, who he is to you, what is he to you?” Harry asked bluntly then, not wanting to let Niall escape form this one.

“Oh..” Niall’s heart was aching now. The more he talked about Zayn the weaker the organ felt. It seemed like he wasn’t going to escape the reminiscing of his past with Zayn anytime soon.

“I mean you don’t have to.” Harry sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn’t want to make Niall talk about anything he didn’t want to. “But I was just, I want to make sure you’re alright Niall. I don’t like it when you’re upset.” He confessed and let the silence of the moment linger on as Niall’s eyes shut and he said absolutely nothing.

“Zayn’s been the love of my life for as long as I can remember.” The words fell from Niall’s lips in barely a whisper, and all Harry could do was blink a few times trying to come up with something to say. There was pain etched into Niall’s eyes and Harry could perfectly see the hurt swimming inside of him.

“W-What?”

It was quiet for another few moments and Harry bit his lip again but harder. This time because of something that stirred deep down in his heart which seemed to rile up some strange but unknown emotion inside of him.

“The only problem is that Zayn isn’t into me, let alone guys, or so he says.” The vile way Niall spoke Zayn‘s name made Harry tense a bit. His pained voice had converted to anger in a matter of seconds.

Niall had clenched his hands once again and he knew he attracted Harry’s eyes towards them but right now he couldn’t help it. Here he was once again bringing up the past, throwing at his heart another arrow getting ready for it to puncture through.

“We have a lot of history though. It’s hard to explain.” He shook his head and sighed running his hand through his tangled hair hoping Harry wouldn’t beg him for anymore details, but he knew that probably wasn’t going to be the case.

“I’m here to listen.” Harry assured him, and Niall just nodded slowly.

“There’s just so many events that led to the end of it all. Annaleise is one of the main reasons.”

Even just talking about the long blonde haired girl displeased him. He could vividly see her striking green antagonistic eyes staring deep down into every thought Niall could ever think. Her manipulating words seeping through other’s skins like a deadly poison. Her pale as the moon skin making her seem like a harmless innocent young girl but Niall perceived her otherwise.

“Annaleise?” Harry spoke up again making her image vanish then from Niall’s distracted eyes.

“Zayn’s girlfriend the one from the other day.” He pointed out to him and Harry gently shook his head remembering her name popping up every once in a while. “She doesn’t exactly have a great liking towards me.” Niall puffed out a resentful laugh. “She knew how I felt about Zayn, she used to be one of my best friends. We grew up next door to each other, she was like my sister. She practically was. She’s told Zayn so many lies about me and so many bullshit things...”

No matter how many times Niall told himself how much he hated Annaleise there would always be that part of him that missed her. She wasn’t always the backstabbing fake person who stole away every ounce of happiness Niall had. No, she used to be someone very precious to him, and his memories of her younger self were still just as dear.

“What an asshole, why did she do that?” Harry felt for the boy, seeing his pain stricken eyes return for a moment. All he did was loosely shrug his shoulders.

“Annaleise liked Zayn too, so she started to fill Zayn’s head with all of these lies that weren’t true.” Niall could remember how every week was a different lie and he couldn’t figure out why she was doing it for the longest time. “They started dating and that’s what caused the fight between Zayn and I, we didn’t speak to each other almost the whole last year of high school.”

That was the difficult part to talk about. Niall could remember the screaming match him and Zayn had right in front of Annaleise. That’s when so many untouched feelings came into play, so many harsh words were spoke and ignored actions were acknowledged. That was the point in time where Niall had shattered. When he had lost Zayn.

He was lonely for so long. The entire year was difficult with every passing day having to look at Annaleise and Zayn together which made Niall’s insides burn with the venomous memories inside of him. He tried to tell himself it was no big deal that it didn’t matter, but it did. It mattered to him so much to the point where he couldn’t take it anymore.

“That was until I finally apologized for some ridiculous reason because I just-I missed him so much it hurt. I didn’t not want to have Zayn in my life.” He admitted, feeling the sting of tears behind his eyelids but he willed them away. He couldn’t cry in front of Harry again. He didn’t like to be weak and vulnerable.

Niall noticed as Harry was inching himself closer and closer to him, and when he looked up that wide smile was right in front of his eyes, and he just had to give a small smile right back even if his heart was beating with misery. He felt at ease as Harry rubbed his warm hand against his back soothingly, knowing he was there made him feel better.

“I understand that. I don’t blame you, but that’s still shit that he wouldn’t believe his best friend over his girlfriend.”

“It only got worse though.” Niall sighed out, resting his head on Harry’s shoulder then. “Annaleise told everyone everything. She told everyone how I felt. She told them every single little secret and detail about my love for Zayn.”

“What, why?” Harry asked with annoyance falling into his spoken words.

“That’s when she made up a lie that I was trying to steal Zayn away from her, that I kissed him and tried to seduce him and so many people mocked and belittled me. It was stupid and fucking ridiculous, but everyone believed her and not me. Zayn didn’t even say anything when he knew it wasn’t true.” Niall felt like burying his head right into Harry’s chest and sobbing now. He didn’t know how much longer he could stroll down memory lane.

“Why wouldn’t he defend you, why the hell wouldn’t he say anything?” Harry’s questions continued to come, and Niall sighed once again.

“Rumors about Zayn and I started to get around, and he freaked out. The thing was that they weren’t exactly rumors.” Harry stiffened a little next to him, but Niall didn’t pick up on it. “They were true and Zayn didn’t want anyone to know. He was embarrassed of me and I should have known from the fucking start.” Harry could hear the way Niall was gritting his teeth as he spoke. “He fucking lied to me. Everything he ever did and everything he ever said was a damn lie.”

“So you two were together.” Harry said more as a statement than a question

“We weren’t together officially, but it was always something more with him. You don’t just casually kiss your best friend, you know?” Niall chuckled, but Harry just pulled him even closer almost like he was trying to put a protective barrier around the smaller boy. “Anyway he eventually ended up proposing to Annaleise at the end of the year.”

Niall swallowed the lump in his throat then. Saying those words still hurt. The impact of that phrase still having an effect on his heart. He still wanted to refuse to believe it, but when Annaleise purposely shoved the beautiful ring in his face, his heart cracked in more than one place.

“I was in love with my best friend who was marrying my other best friend and I was so heart broken I couldn’t pretend I was alright anymore.” He pushed himself up and off of Harry‘s shoulder then, wanting to show he was alright. He wanted to prove that he wasn’t some fragile human being, even though his heart and mind were suffering from many wounds. “That’s the real reason why I moved here. I needed to get away from Zayn.”

Harry watched as Niall tried to smile through the suffering he was obviously going through. He saw right through his brave face and he wanted to just hug the pain right out of him, but he wasn’t sure if he should at the moment. He could see how Niall was trying to be strong on his own and for now he was going to let him.

This was all still boggling his mind though.

“What a fucking dick. Why would he do that to you, expecially if he knew how you felt?”

Niall let out a short fake laugh then. That was a question even Niall couldn’t answer.

“I don’t know. He said he was sorry and that his feelings for Annaleise would never change, but all of our history together made it seem like maybe there could have been something.” That was the false hope that Niall continued to hold onto. That was the toxin that infected Niall’s mind and heart. “I guess I was the fool for thinking anything could ever happen, that he could ever like me.”

That’s what made Harry the angriest he had been all afternoon. The way Niall talked down about himself like that. Harry instantly placed his hand carefully over Niall’s which was resting on the ground, and the blonde looked up a little bit shocked.

“You’re not a fool, Niall don’t say that.” Harry told him as he squeezed the boy’s hand in his own giving him one of his award winning smiles. “He’s stupid for not realizing what a wonderful person you are. You know that right?” He questioned him, and he could see a small smile trying to tug at Niall’s lips, but he only just blushed and looked away with a slight frown taking over.

“Obviously not.” He sounded defeated and then Harry frowned himself. He slowly brought his other hand up to Niall’s cheek feeling the heat radiating from his body into his cold hand. Harry’s heart stuttered surprising himself as he ran his thumb over Niall’s cherry red cheek, his eyes filled with wonder and maybe a flicker of nervousness.

“Niall I’m serious. You’d be the perfect boyfriend for anyone, you’ve got the entire package. You’re cute, intelligent, funny, and extremely adorable. Your personality is spot on perfect and you don’t have a single flaw.” Every word Harry spoke was true and any day he would tell Niall this but as of right now his heart seemed to do funny flips inside of his ribs knocking into them as he saw the way Niall blushed even deeper, but he felt accomplished when a smile broke out on his face.

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” Niall swatted at his hand, and Harry smiled fondly at him, but shook his head.

“I’m saying this because it’s true.”

Niall looked over then to see how Harry was staring at him with those eyes again, and he bit his lip and looked away from his best friend trying to hide his dark red blush.

“You always know how to make me feel better.” Niall said with thanks in his voice.

“I’ll always be here for you bud. What kind of friend would I be if I couldn’t do that for you?” Harry asked then winking, and Niall just picked up a strawberry and shoved it into his mouth savoring the delicious sweetness.

“A shit one.”

Harry laughed.

“Exactly.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The way his words rang though Niall’s ears. He wanted him. He wanted Zayn so badly. But in the end he knew it would cause more problems than he could handle.

Niall was laying in bed with his hands clasped behind his head staring at the ceiling as the sun was slowly rising. It was already Monday again and he could hear Harry snoring away in the room across the hall. He sighed trying to close his eyes but the dreams were getting more realistic not allowing him to fall asleep. He tried to shut them out but the same dream, or past memory really, played over and over inside his aching mind.

~ 

The surroundings were very clear to him. Looking around, with the giant trees enclosing them and the Koi fish pond with the little waterfall, he could tell it was Zayn’s backyard. He was laying down with his gaze fixed on the side of Zayn’s face where the grass was slowly ticking his skin. His lips turned up into a smile as he watched the boy connect the stars with his eyes.

Moments like those made Niall’s heart race, as he realized the beauty Zayn really held. His features were breathtaking with absolutely no flaws. His beautiful sparkling eyes brighter than the shining stars with his perfect cheek bones and chiseled jawline. Niall also loved to listen to him talk about his knowledge of the world around them. His intelligence attracted Niall to him even more.

 _“What exactly do you think time is, Niall?”_ He had asked and said boy bit his lip and tilted his head to the side.

 _“What do ya mean?”_ He questioned back. He looked over again to see Zayn staring right into his wondering eyes, pondering his own words.

 _“It’s hard to grasp the concept of it, you know? My question is, does it really exist or is it just how we perceive it ourselves?”_ Zayn continued his curiosity and Niall could only stare into the boy’s brilliant eyes. Zayn smiled as he saw the confusion blatant in the blonde’s own. He only shrugged his small shoulders.

 _“Don’t know why you’re asking me, you know I haven’t got a clue.”_ He chuckled, and Zayn joined him, his tongue swiping across his bottom lip making the moonlight shine upon it.

 _“Want to know what amazes me though?”_ He asked, slowly rolling to his side while leaning his head over Niall’s own. Niall had to blink multiple times before his heart began to work again. Zayn was smiling down at him with those golden eyes and he couldn’t seem to move, his body hypnotized. _“Time seems to slow down when I’m staring at you.”_

Niall’s breath was caught in his lungs then choking him as Zayn continued to lean forward. Niall’s eyes started to lid shut as he could feel Zayn’s breath ghosting over his lips.

 _“And time seems to completely stop when I’m kissing you.”_ Zayn had slowly pressed his soft lips to Niall’s then and the blonde boy gave a silent gasp. He slowly wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck pulling him impossibly closer as their lips collided together.

It was sweet, and Zayn was so gentle, and Niall’s heart couldn’t be soaring any higher than it was at that point in time. He understood completely what Zayn was saying about the concept of time.

~ Niall then was jarred back into reality when a knock was rapping on his door. Startled, he snapped up in bed, seeing Harry standing outside of his room with only sweatpants on. His hair was flopped all over atop his head and Niall rubbed at his eyes trying to clear his blurred vision.

“Hey bud, wake up.” Harry’s raspy voice called out to him then. “You never sleep this late.”

Niall’s head then whirled around to see the time on the clock. He groaned when he realized he only had about twenty minutes to get to school. That meant no breakfast and he was going to look like shit since they had to at least leave the house in ten.

The two scurried to get ready for the day and were running their way out the door in a matter of minutes. It was a chilly morning and Niall realized he was an idiot for forgetting his jacket shivering a little in the frigid air.

It was a mostly quiet walk with Harry, more than once, side glancing to look at his smaller blonde friend. He saw how tired Niall looked with his eyes drooping every two minutes on their morning tribute. He couldn’t help biting his lip seeing the distressed look on his face as well.

“Niall?” He slowly began and said boy turned his head with a careful smile.

“Yeah?”

“Are-Are you feeling alright? Like if something was wrong you would tell me right?” Harry asked then feeling more than worried for him.

Niall stared back confused like the question had caught him off guard.

“Of course I would, you know me.” Niall smiled, completely ignoring the first part of the question not wanting to lie to him. In all truth, he wasn’t exactly okay, but eventually he would be. He just needed to suck it up. Zayn was back in his life, which was obviously going to take some time to adjust too, but he would be alright.

Harry noticed the fake smile on his face. There was no hiding it. He sighed though giving Niall a sympathetic smile of his own letting it go for now. Hopefully, if something was actually wrong, Niall would let him know.

~    ~    ~

Niall had made it through his first few classes of the day with his fight against sleep and right now he was currently sitting alone in the library trying to make some of his free time useful.

He was working on a simple lab for his chemistry class trying to make sure all the questions would be done before he made his way home. He rolled his eyes at the piece of paper, he never actually liked doing homework at home anyway. While the last few minutes of his free period was ending, Niall’s cell phone had vibrated in his pocket.

**H: Hey sunshine, I’m bringing home a pizza tonight, don’t eat before you get home!**

**1:22p.m.**

Niall smiled at the message sending back a thumbs up before throwing his phone into his pocket and packing up his things getting ready to head home.

The entire day was really uneventful. He spent the entire morning with Harry and there was no sign of Zayn or Annaleise anywhere. It was kind of a relief. Niall didn’t want to deal with either of them today. His heart was beating itself up recently every time he ever even thought of Zayn.

It seemed like the longer he was around him the stronger his feelings grew. It was like it was happening all over again. No matter how hard he tried to tell himself to walk away, he continued to fall harder and harder for him. He sighed while slipping his bag over his shoulder and pushing in his chair as a familiar voice rang through the library.

“Hey Ni!” Niall’s head spun around and his heart sank. Of course, just his luck.

Zayn had his hand in the air waving like an idiot on the other side of the library. Niall gave a short wave back and his heart was doing that stupid thumping thing again where it made him feel sick. Zayn was then slowly making his way over to the shorter boy, and Niall felt a slight blush appear on his cheeks as he was probably standing a little bit closer than he actually had to be.

“Zayn, hey.” He tired not to sound like he was completely dreading everything about his life at this point but once again, it’s not like Zayn ever picked up on any of his feelings or moods anyway. He could feel the gaze Zayn held on him, but he refused to look up, especially when his heart was rattling against his ribs.

“Hey I texted you this weekend, but you didn’t text back.” Zayn’s hurt tone made Niall want to roll his eyes. The thing was that it took Niall all of his willpower not to text Zayn back. He had busied himself at the gym, went to mall, and left his phone at home the entire day just so he wouldn’t end up doing something he regretted, or more so something he shouldn’t.

“Oh, I um, sorry I was with Harry this weekend.” He half lied, knowing that even he blew his own best friend off for the majority of the weekend only hanging out with him on Saturday afternoon for a little bit.

Niall looked up then, and he could see a strange emotion inside of Zayn’s eyes, but it disappeared almost instantly. He bit his lip, seeing how the golden specs were exactly how he remembered them, cursing himself mentally flicking his eyes away briskly.

“Oh, so is he your boyfriend?” He questioned, and Niall almost choked on the air he was currently trying to inhale.

“What?” He blurted out immediately.

Once again that weird look was back, but now it wasn’t just inside of his capturing eyes it was also written on his face.

“Oh c’mon Ni, you can tell me. I can see the way he looks at you.” The look had dissipated again, and Niall cocked an eyebrow at him. “I’m just glad you finally found someone to make you happy.” Zayn smiled lightly now, his eyes crinkling like they always would, but Niall was shaking his head. It also kind of hurt to hear him say that.

“But-”

“Well anyway,” He was interrupted and he puffed out an annoyed breath. “We’re hanging out after school today. I told Annaleise you were here and she was thrilled that you agreed to go out with us today.” Zayn informed him and Niall felt his throat close up and turned drier than the Sahara desert.

“And when did I agree to that..?” He questioned folding his arms over his chest and Zayn was finally catching onto the irritated look Niall held on his face.

“Well, I was hoping you would agree because I already invited her and we’re going to that coffee shop, Connie’s, after school and we want you to come with us!” He exclaimed and once again Zayn used that face. The certain look that made Niall agree to anything he asked. His bottom lip was being teased between his teeth and his pleading eyes were wide and hopeful. Niall groaned and ran a hand through his messy hair.

“I- um, alright I guess.” He reluctantly agreed and Zayn almost jumped, he looked so excited.

“Sweet, I’ll meet you at your locker with Anna after class okay! See ya Ni!” Niall didn’t even have time to wave as Zayn was running back towards the way he came.

“Son of a bitch.” He could only whisper. It was a library after all.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~

Niall’s foot was tapping a mile a minute under the table with his coffee pressed tightly into his hands. He could feel the burning of his skin from the hot beverage, but right now he couldn’t even pay attention especially with the way Zayn had his arm around Annaleise as he sat across from them at the one and only Connie’s Coffee Shop.

He was trying to conceal his jealousy as Zayn leaned over and kissed her temple, something Zayn had always done to him, something that he used to cherish. His blood felt like it was boiling, and he could tell Anna was eating it up.

What wasn’t so secret though, was the absolute death stare Niall was being given by her. He wanted to roll his eyes, he wanted to punch her, but he knew he couldn’t. Zayn would think he was an insane lunatic if he ever did that.

“So Niall. Long time no see.” She piped up then, making Niall shiver in his seat at the warning and edge she had in her high pitched voice. It made Niall’s stomach churn.

“Yeah, it has been a while.” He answered back with just as much venom in his tone. Two could play at this game, and she wasn’t going to win here. Her smile widened, and he knew that she had accepted his challenge.

“Well, it’s nice to see you again.” She lied, her eyes telling a completely different story. “When Zayn told me he ran into you on the first day I seriously thought he was pulling my leg, but here you are in the flesh.” She said, trying to sound excited. Niall glanced over to see Zayn smiling at her fondly. He wanted to smack it off his face.

“I had no idea you were going here.” Niall said then, taking a sip of his coffee, trying to ignore the way she placed her hand on Zayn’s thigh knowing full well that Niall could see her every movement.

“Yeah well it was a last minute thing.” She shrugged her petite shoulders and Zayn brushed her long blonde hair off her neck. “Zayn and I thought it would be so romantic to spend our days together at college in this beautiful city, so we put in applications and we both got accepted.”

If Niall could glare at her without Zayn noticing he really would. Niall had told her years ago he wanted to attend college here, and that psycho just happened to pick the same college? There was no way she did this deliriously.

“I’m glad we’re all together again, it’s like high school all over.” She practically mocked Niall, knowing that the boy’s high school years were hell. The cryptic message in her words was almost obvious to Niall, basically saying, _**“I’m going to make your life a living hell.”**_

“It sure is.” He clenched his teeth but smiled through it. He could do this. He knew he could. There was no way he was going to let her get to him. He needed this. He needed to get rid of these feelings. He needed to learn how to not let this have such a huge effect on him. This was a learning experience, if Zayn kept this whole ‘we’re still friends’ thing up, for many times to come.

“Well anyway Ni, what have you been up to this summer? Where are you living now?” Zayn asked then, letting himself be part of the conversation instead of just fonding over Annaleise and listening in on their secretively hostile conversation. Niall tried to smile at him, but he felt like it came out a little bit too forced. But once again, it’s not like Zayn noted it.

“I live actually right around the corner form here. Harry and I share an apartment.” He smiled then thinking of the curly haired boy and the delicious pizza he had promised to bring home.

“Awh that’s so adorable.” Annaleise chimed in her voice sickly sweet, making Niall wince.

“Where did you meet him anyway?” Zayn questioned quickly and Niall took a sip of his coffee slightly watching the way Anna had dug her nail into the back of Zayn’s hand. After a moment he gestured to their surrounding area.

“I met him here actually. We work together here.”

“You work here?” Zayn spoke up again with his quick questions and Niall smiled at him trying to be sincere since he liked the way Zayn was now giving him his undivided attention acting so curious towards him, and Annaleise was noticing it as well.

“Yeah, I do.”

“And you’re dating someone from work?” She sneered, and her hurtful tone attracted looks from both boys now. Niall looked at her like she was crazy and started to shake his head.

“We’re-”

“You know,” She put up her finger at him, hushing him and Niall felt his ears steaming. “They say love in the work business is not good. It can lead to fights and bad break ups, and it makes for awkwardness in the work environment.”

Before Niall could even speak up and call her out for being wrong, another voice was calling out to him.

“Niall? Is that you?” Niall looked over his shoulder to see Harry wiping his hands off on his apron. The white sugary powder now covering his entire front and some of it was even on his cheek. Niall smiled brightly seeing him as the boy walked over towards the crew.

“Harry? I didn’t know you were workin’ today.” He said, beckoning him closer with his finger so he could brush off some of the powder from his cheek. The curly haired boy smiled showing a toothy grin before brushing the rest off with his clothed shoulder.

“I thought I told you love? I thought I mentioned it on our way to school this morning.” He said, and Niall just shook his head. He didn’t remember Harry mentioning it at all.

“Awh, you two are so adorable.” Annaleise broke in then, interrupting them, and Harry didn’t even notice that both Zayn and his girlfriend were there until now. He couldn’t help but bite his lip and place a protective hand on Niall’s shoulder. Why in the hell would Niall be here with these two assholes?

“Excuse me?” He smiled at her, even though he really wanted to tell her off and drag Niall away from them.

“How long have you guys been together Ni?” Zayn asked then, but unlike before he didn’t sound as interested and his gaze had fallen towards the table.

“I-I-we’re not dating!” He blushed, and he saw the way Harry’s mouth fell open a little bit, but a smile then instantly reappeared on his face. Niall rolled his eyes. “I’ve been trying to tell you both that but you kept interrupting me.”

“Oh c’mon really? You two look like a couple.”Annaleise was pushing, and Niall was getting more irritated by the second. He felt Harry’s grip on his shoulder tighten a little and he took in a deep breath and tried to relax. She grabbed Zayn’s hand then and smiled at him. “Besides, it’s about time you’ve moved on from Zayn, right Niall?”

Everyone’s eyes widened at her choice of words. The room seemed to grow quieter by the second. Emotions were running wild. Harry was furious, Zayn was appalled, Annaleise felt accomplished and Niall felt hurt. Niall let his eyes fall towards the table and his cheeks were going pink. He felt Harry’s thumb rubbing his shoulder soothingly knowing exactly how he felt at the moment, but that really caught him in surprise.

The sad fact about it was that it was true, and everyone sitting at the table knew it. Niall felt sick again expecially when he looked up to see Zayn’s sympathetic gaze watching over him.

“Annaleise.” Zayn snapped then, a warning in his tone, but she only glared at him with a testing look.

“What? I’m just stating a fact, Zayn.” She rolled her eyes like she was the most innocent thing in the whole world. Like she was a child being scolded for doing absolutely nothing wrong.

Niall clenched his fists, but refused to look up. There was no way he could do this. She always found some way to win. The worst part was that she still held Zayn’s hand, and her discourteous smile was searing into Niall’s skin.

“Hey, I’m actually about to get off shift in five minutes, Niall we can walk home together alright?” Harry interjected, making sure Niall looked up at him so he could give him a reassuring smile.

“Yeah, okay.” He nodded, praising Harry for being here at this moment. He always knew what to do for him, and getting him out of here right now was the best thing anyone could do.

“W-We better get going.” Zayn said then nervousness present in his voice, practically dragging Anna up by her hand, and she looked tremendously annoyed as she glared in his direction. “We’ll see you both tomorrow right?” He asked, directing the question more towards Niall staring at him but the blonde just couldn’t bring himself to look back.

“Bright and early at our favorite place, you know it.” Harry answered for him, and Zayn just nodded, a frown on his face as he pushed in both his and Annaleise’s chairs.

“Alright see ya Ni,” He tried again, but once again to no avail did Niall even look at him. “Bye Harry.”

Harry waved on behalf of him and Niall, a smile showing on his face again, because he always knew when and where to use the dashing grin. Niall did turn to watch as Zayn ignored the way Annaleise was talking to him as they made their way down the street.

~    ~    ~

Niall sat in the back of the coffee shop for a few minutes waiting for Harry to do some last minute preparations before he was done with his shift. He kicked his feet back and forth eating a Cherry Cheese Danish from the showcase. Harry had just made them, and he was trying to cheer Niall up a bit, so he gave the boy one of his favorite desserts in the shop.

Niall sighed thinking about the events that had just played out. He should have known Annaleise would have pulled something like that. It was so like her, and he was stupid for not seeing it coming. The way Zayn looked at him with those pity filled eyes made his heart crack. That bastard had no idea what he was going through.

He had no idea why Zayn wanted him even back into his life. Niall was trying like hell to forget him, why couldn’t he do the same? Obviously he didn’t care for him or else he wouldn’t have done any of that bullshit. He pushed Niall away and he tumbled and shattered. He didn’t even give a second glance back at him.

He used him, he lied to him and broken his trust, and it was still hard for Niall to look past all of it. How could Zayn just pretend like none of it ever happened? That was what hurt the most, that Zayn was able to erase it all away, and Niall was still sunken in the memories of the past.

Niall was sipping on some water as Harry was running into the back, throwing off his apron and shoving his hat into his cubby a little forcefully. Niall noticed the aggravated look on his face.

“She didn’t have to say that.” He said shaking his head. He then glanced over to where Niall’s eyes were shifted down again at the floor and all he did was slightly shrug his shoulders. Harry rubbed his palm over his eye in frustration. “Niall, I’m sorry. I should have said something.”

“No you shouldn’t have.” Niall spoke up instantly then. “I’m glad you didn’t it’s alright. She’s been like that for a while now, I’m used to it.” He sighed, it’s not like it was anything new. She obviously didn’t want him around Zayn and that’s what he was going to do. He wasn’t going to talk to him anymore and he was going to try like hell to keep his distance.

“It’s still not right. She shouldn’t talk to you that way.”

“Well if I keep in contact with Zayn she’s not going to stop. She dangles him in front of me and she loves doing it.” Niall told him, and he could see how Harry was fighting the anger from busting out of him.

“What a fucking bastard.” He whispered closing his eyes and running a hand through his soft hair.

“Harry-” Niall tried, but Harry’s hard eyes startled him, stopping his words.

“No, I don’t like him Niall. I’m sorry but he’s a damn idiot and he let’s his girlfriend treat you like trash and it’s unacceptable.” He said, his voice rising in volume. He winced hearing himself, knowing he needed to calm down. He was furious though, because Zayn wasn’t treating Niall how he should be treated. “Sorry, I’m like yelling, I just- you know I care about you right?”

His tone began to grow softer then and his heartfelt eyes rested on the blondes. He saw the small smile tug at the corners of Niall’s lips and his heart started to beat a little faster, something that was happening a lot around Niall lately.

“Yes I do, but you don’t need to worry about me.” He told him with a thankful smile, as he hopped off the table and threw his bag over his shoulder. They needed to start heading home. He needed to fall asleep on this and completely forget about it.

He was done. And this time he meant it.

“I just don’t want him to hurt you.” Harry spoke up again gaining Niall’s attention, feeling a slight blush come to his cheeks. Niall turned around and saw how the boy was still shaking his head faintly. “I don’t want to see you cry ever again because of him. I don’t like it when you’re sad.”

Niall bit his lip then hearing Harry say those words. He could see the slight tinge of pink in his cheeks and how he was staring at him with those serious but sincere piercing green eyes. He felt his heart swell a little, which was strange, but he smiled back trying to make Harry return his own goofy grin.

“You’ve mentioned that before.” He spoke, his voice low and shy, but Harry’s was persistent.

“It’s because it’s true.” He smiled, and he caught a glance of a slight blush running over Niall’s cheeks also spreading towards his neck. He noted that he liked that.

“Do you actually want to get Chinese tonight? I’m kind of in the mood for egg rolls.” Niall asked then, his hand pushing open the door, with Harry nodding instantly coming up right beside him their shoulders so near they were touching. Niall liked that closeness.

“That sounds perfect love.” Harry agreed, snaking his hand down then and lacing his fingers with Niall’s smaller ones. Niall’s heart skipped as he felt the way their hands fit perfectly together. The warmth from Harry’s mixing with the blonde’s freezing ones. He looked up to see Harry with a giant smile on his face, his eyes almost squinted shut. “Whatever your little heart desires.”

~   ~   ~   ~   ~

It wasn’t very often when Harry would skip school, but today was one of those days. He told Niall to tell everyone he was sick, but the the blonde boy was smarter than that. As he was walking along the sidewalk, now and then kicking the small rocks out of the way, he wished he had played hooky with him.

Niall wasn’t sure if he could make it through the entire day without his curly haired friend. For the short time he had attended this school he had made no other friends. He strictly stuck to Harry and then he had Zayn floating around him every now and again, but he guessed between school, homework, his job, Harry and Zayn trying to all adjust into his schedule he didn’t really have time for anyone else.

Niall sighed as he reached into his pocket, pulling out his phone which was vibrating and lighting up brightly. He swiped the screen just to be met with a message from Zayn. He sneered and shoved it back into his pocket forcefully. He instantly began thinking of a few day’s back to the incident with Annaleise. He couldn’t believe she had made him cave in so quickly at her little scheme, but the more Niall thought about the ridiculous game the less he wanted to be a player.

Niall was always going to lose when she made the rules. There was never a time where he could find a loop hole. Maybe if he resigned early this time then it wouldn’t hurt so much in the end. With the pain of watching the two every day with her glares at Niall and Zayn’s oblivious smile he wasn’t sure how much more he could handle.

One day he had promised himself that he was supposed to forget Zayn, vowing that he would allow himself, no matter what the circumstances were, to commit and follow that goal. And now as Niall looked up the steps to the school, his insides churned as his eyes met with familiar gold specs.

“Niall.” Zayn breathed out, and the pale blonde could see the way he was staring at him with those infuriating sympathetic eyes. Niall immediately shut his own refusing to even glance in his direction again.

He made a promise to himself, and this time he was going to keep it.

It seemed that the whole ‘ignoring Zayn’ part of the process was going to be broken quickly seeing as soon as Niall passed him walking into the school, a large hand was placed on his shoulder stopping his movements completely.

“Niall, wait.”

It was quiet then, the area oddly silent with not as many kids as Niall had expected this morning. He refused to turn around and when Zayn caught onto this he stepped up in front of the shorter boy. Zayn bit his lip noticing the glare resting on Niall’s face and the pain inside of his eyes.

“Zayn go away.” He snapped, wincing at how harsh he was being, but this had to be done. Zayn needed to realize that there was no way that he could have both Annaleise and him in his life. It was either one or the other and if he told him to chose, he knew who it was going to be, so why even bother?

Niall ignored the way Zayn’s eyes were pleading with him.

“Look, Niall please-” Zayn tried again but he cut him off, making Zayn’s frown more prominent on his face. Niall still restrained himself from looking. He didn’t even want to be seeing him let alone speaking to him right now.

“Seriously Zayn, please just go away, alright?” He continued to try and push Zayn away, but he noticed how he wouldn’t budge no matter what he said. Niall puffed out an annoyed breath. Why couldn’t Zayn just do something to his benefit for once? Why did he always have to make him so miserable?

“Ni,” Zayn continued to use his nickname, this time saying it so softly it made the butterflies in his stomach flutter. He prayed that he would stop using it because every single time Niall’s heart winced with a meaningful memory. “I know you’re angry from the other night, but it’s fine alright? It’s-”

“The problem with that is it isn’t fine, and you know that.” Niall retorted, anger now present in his voice. Zayn’s eyes shifted downward, and this time Niall didn’t feel bad when he saw a wave of hurt passing over his expression.

The on going tense silence made Niall want to up and walk away. This was ridiculous and there was no reason why they were even having a conversation right now. Nothing would ever change, no matter how hard Zayn tried and no matter how many times Niall hoped and dreamed. Zayn and Niall would never be.

As the younger boy went to walk away again, trying to pass by Zayn, he pushed his chest back lightly. Niall suddenly felt shock, usually Zayn would just let him walk away whenever they had fights. Whenever he was done screaming or arguing, Niall would walk away and Zayn would watch him with that stupid hurt frown on his face.

Unlike this moment, they were more than likely screaming at the top of their lungs at each. Niall hated those fights and when he would get home he would bawl at all the malicious things Zayn had yelled at him. He remembered how awful the first one, and the last one was.

The way Zayn had told him their feelings were fake. That everything they had ever done had been a mistake. How he didn’t want Niall anymore. That had him broken right there on the spot, with Zayn just letting him walk away, watching as he sobbed into his arm.

“Niall don’t- don’t do this again.” Zayn whispered, his eyes still circling the patterns on the tiled floor. Niall watched him closely, staring at him with baffled eyes.

“Don’t do what again?” He questioned, his tone still angry.

“Try to get rid of me, to block me out like this.” He spoke, his voice sounding broken and Niall had to look away almost instantly as he snapped his eyes up from the ground to stare right back into Niall’s bright blues which were shining with confusion and just as much hurt as Zayn’s own.

“I’m not I-” “You think I don’t know why you up and left so quickly after high school? I might have acted oblivious but you know I’m not that stupid Ni.” Zayn cut him off, his tone desperate now as he stepped even closer to Niall, making the other take another step back.

Niall bit his lip then blushing as he heard Zayn’s words. He shouldn’t have been so ignorant. Deep down he realized that Zayn knew the exact reason why he left without even saying goodbye, and so suddenly too, and now he just proved it.

He couldn’t have just stayed. It was impossible. What had made Niall so anguished at the end of the year was when Zayn and him were once again becoming friends. It was everything Niall could have ever wanted. The only thing was that he wanted so, so much more.

What made everything even more frustrating was the way the subject of feelings was never addressed. After that day, that certain day when Zayn told Niall he would never be able to love him like he loved Annaleise, that was the day all their honest talk and all their usual open emotions were sealed off and hidden forever.

Only Niall knew it was a one way street, because Zayn was smarter than him. He knew every single detail about him, and hiding things from the raven haired boy was almost nearly impossible. He knew Zayn could read his mind like it was an open book, like it was as his own mind. The way Niall knew how he could practically see into his thoughts drove him crazy. Zayn’s pity filled and sympathetic eyes are what drove him insane.

Niall set his jaw then and looked Zayn dead in the eyes, trying not to give himself away. Inside, his mind and heart were tearing each other apart, but on the outside he knew he had to look strong and not phased.

“Zayn, you and I both know Annaleise wants you to have nothing to do with me and I’m going to play by her rules.” He replied, and this time, the other boy had actually rolled his eyes.

“Niall that’s ridiculous c’mon please just stop this.” He implored, making Niall glare at him shaking his head.

“Am I wrong?” He challenged hostilely, making Zayn shut his mouth as fast as possible. “Tell me I’m wrong, I dare you.”

Zayn tried to gather up something to say, but eventually ended up saying nothing. His head hung low with his eyes closed. Niall sighed, knowing that even though he finally made his point that all of this was just hurting. The truth trying to pry it’s way to the top and being out in the open was aching.

“Niall it doesn’t have to be like this.” Zayn urged, but he saw how Niall was having none of it. Every single plea and every beg was falling on deaf ears.

“Zayn you know better than I that it does. I’m sorry, but I’m done with you.” Niall finished, turning away and this time just like the old days, Zayn didn’t try to stop him. Only a soft whisper had tumbled past his lips.

“Niall don’t leave me again.”

This made Niall freeze to his spot. But this time, instead of the fluttering heart there was bubbling anger. He slowly looked over his shoulder, but his eyes remained glued to the floor.

“You’re the one who left me.”

Without another word, he slowly left the hallway leaving Zayn with only the echoing sounds of his footsteps.

~   ~   ~   ~   ~

Niall ran his way right to the gym after school. After his encounter with Zayn he couldn’t get the conversation they had to stop itching at his mind. His thoughts were swarming inside his head. The way Zayn’s desperate voice was begging for him not to leave. He didn’t understand.

After all they’ve been through, after all the many times Zayn has told Niall that he had wanted nothing to do with him anymore, now he tells him not to disappear again? It pissed him off. Even after running almost five miles on the treadmill he was still fuming.

His heart rate was beating so fast with sweat dripping off of him. He was clenching his fists, his nails digging into his palms. Zayn’s image vividly in front of his eyes.

He believed he was so infuriated because this was the first time Zayn had showed any sort of a more than friends caring emotion towards him. Usually he was met with pain and sorrow whenever he thought about the way Zayn felt about him, but this time it made his heart clench with the want for love from Zayn hearing him saying those hopeful words.

The only thing was that Niall couldn’t. He couldn’t let himself fall that hard so carelessly ever again. The dangers of heartbreak were way too high. Nothing was there to catch you from that traumatic fall.

As he smacked the stop button a little harder than necessary he hopped off the machine resting his arms on top of his head for a second so he could catch his breath. He didn’t even realize he was full on sprinting. He didn’t mean to be pushing himself so hard, but he couldn’t help how annoyed he was. He quickly then grabbed his things, throwing on a sweater and pushed the door open to get to the outside. It was chilly and he knew he had no other choice than to walk home which meant he was going to ponder even more.

He sighed as he started his walk, knowing that it was going to be at least fifteen minutes. He should have gotten home earlier since now it was dark. He could have called Harry, asking the boy if he could meet him halfway but he didn’t want to bother him. Which reminded him that he hoped Harry was home. He missed him, and he really wanted to hang out with him tonight, and right now he needed someone.

The wind then whipped past Niall’s cheeks stinging them into a rosy red color. He blew hot air into his hands trying to heat them up. He looked around to see the tree’s swaying in the wind, and Niall frowned as his memory was attacking him again.

When Zayn still had a liking for Niall in more than just a friendly way, these kinds of walks were his absolute favorite to spend with him. On these nights, when the wind was a little frigid and the light had vanished from the sky, Zayn would walk with his warm hand in Niall’s smiling at the boy’s sparkling eyes.

~

 _“Did you know, that you look different in the moonlight?”_ He questioned, and Niall had chuckled, shaking his head slightly. Zayn’s grin was spreading wider as he heard the adorable sound fall from the pretty blondes lips.

 _“How’s that?”_ Niall had asked, making Zayn shrug at first, turning his gaze up to look at the full moon, bright and gleaming.

 _“When I see you in the sunlight, you shine just as brilliantly and you light up beautifully.”_ Zayn began, _“But when the moon shines in your eyes, they’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”_

Niall felt his blush creeping up on him. Zayn would always compliment on his looks. He usually would just blush and tell him that he was blind, but he was always very persistent like usual. Niall felt the wind brushing past him and he shuffled towards Zayn, leaning against him, making the older boy smile down at him.

_“I know you’re doubting the way I think you look right now, but don’t. I wish you could see just how perfect you are.”_

~

Niall was snapped out of his little day dream then as a horn was honking at him to cross the street at the light. He looked up to see that he was standing across the street from his shared apartment with Harry and he quickly waved at the car and sprinted out of the way.

He jogged up the steps then and slowly opened the door to the warm welcoming home. Niall breathed in the smell of popcorn and looked over to see Harry sitting in the living room with his hand in a giant bowl and one of his favorite movies playing on the screen.

“Hey sunshine.” Harry greeted, trying to smile through the snack packed in his cheeks. He saw how Niall was untying his shoes and threw them to the side. The stressed and pained look was prominent in Niall’s features still, and Harry instantly noticed.

“Hey.” Niall replied, trying to sound as cheerful as possible. The more he thought about it, the more he didn’t want to bother Harry about anymore of his Zayn problems. He had already heard enough, but when Harry was staring at him with that worried glance he knew he was so blatantly obvious about his feelings.

“What’s wrong? Why do ya sound like you’re in the dumps today?” Harry questioned patting the seat next to him, making Niall breathe out still trying to put on a smile. He slowly padded his way over to the couch and plopped himself down right next to the curly haired boy who’s eyes were now fixed on the blonde.

“It’s just- it’s nothing really.” He shrugged rubbing the back of his neck trying to steer Harry away from talking about his problems. Obviously, Harry was having none of it staring Niall right in the eyes giving him a knowing look.

“It’s not just nothing Niall, I know you better than that c’mon.” He pushed, and the other boy just sighed then knowing keeping these feelings to himself would be pointless since Harry would find a certain way to squeeze them out of him eventually.

“I’m just confused, I guess. I ran into Zayn today and he said some things that really confused me.”

“What did that asshole say to you?” Harry questioned instantly, and Niall’s reprimanding eyes looked over at him softly.

“Harry, please.” He said, his voice sounding strained. The green eyed boy bit his lip, knowing that was a little bit of an outburst.

“Sorry, I can’t help it.” Niall then smiled at him, seeing Harry’s ashamed but still serious face. Niall rubbed his eyes then remembering the words spoken by Zayn earlier. The conversation still bothering him and boggling his mind. The way Zayn’s eyes held a hold onto his.

The way his words rang though Niall’s ears. He wanted him. He wanted Zayn so badly. But in the end he knew it would cause more problems than he could handle. Besides, it’s not like anything was going to happen anyway. He closed his eyes then, deciding to tell Harry everything. Maybe if he talked then he would feel better.

“He told me not to like, leave him again, saying how everything was going to be alright and I- I don’t know it was strange.”

“What do you mean by strange?” He asked then, seeing that still pained look on Niall’s face and the longer he saw the way his eyes were holding that emotion the more he wanted to take it away. He didn’t like how Niall was feeling, and he bit his lip wishing he could do something, but he was coming up almost empty knowing the only thing he could do was listen.

Niall leaned back then, his hands folding across his stomach. He looked over at Harry once again like he usually would, shrugging his shoulders.

“It was like he was begging me to not run away anymore. But I don’t understand why.” Harry watched as Niall looked like he was contemplating questions inside of his mind. He noticed the way his eyes crinkled up along with his nose. He smiled fondly at him, he only wished the reason for his adorable crystal eyes to be doing something like that was because he was laughing so hard because he was nothing less than brilliantly happy.

Harry blushed, knowing he shouldn’t be thinking about that right now though. He listened as Niall continued on.

“I guess I’m saying that I don’t understand why he cares.”

“Don’t let him get to you Niall.” Harry warned him, his mood dropping, thinking of how Zayn could possibly be taking advantage of him. The bastard wasn’t a good person, and he has shown and proved that. Harry wished Niall had nothing to do with him like he had said, but he knew that they were always going to be around each other. It shows that somewhere deep down the two still have a pretty strong connection.“You know he’s probably just telling you things you want to hear.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” Niall smiled then, a bright one being thrown towards Harry’s direction. His teeth baring and those crinkling eyes making Harry’s heart stop a bit. He was shocked for a moment seeing him with that adorable face but in a second returned the widest smile he could.

“C’mere.” Harry spoke then, gesturing for Niall to come closer. The blonde looked over at him confused, but then chuckled a little.

“Wha-”

“Lay down and watch a movie with me.” Harry broke him off, making grabbing hands at the boy. Harry had laid himself down then laying back with that smile never coming off of his lips. Niall continued to chuckle again as he saw the faked saddened look on Harry’s face.

“You know if you want my fat ass on this couch you’re going to have to sit up and move over.” Niall pushed at him, making Harry groan in protest. Niall rolled his eyes. The boy was just as lazy as always.

“My arms are wide open for you babe.” Harry joked then opening his arms vastly spread out just enough for Niall to lay down upon his chest. Niall stared at him, catching the green eyed boy’s glance. He winked at him, and Niall blushed instantly, rolling his eyes once again. He smiled as he heard Harry heartily laugh.

“Quit it you dork.” He smacked at one of his hands trying to get him to close them.

“Never!” He yelled and immediately sat up seeing Niall’s jaw drop when he wrapped him around his arms and pulled him down right onto his chest with a happy sigh. Niall could feel his blush being painted on his cheeks, feeling Harry’s strong tight arms around him. He bit his lip but chortled struggling a bit in his arms not letting Harry get away with what he wanted without a light fight, even though Niall would let him win this one.

“H-Harry! C’mon!” He laughed, his hair tickling Harry’s nose then as the blonde wriggled in his grasp. There was no way he was letting him go so he held on even tighter, pressing his smile into the boy’s hair.

“Just let me hug you like I want to and stop struggling, besides it’s easier when you accept the affection.” He told him, and Niall allowed his moving to die down. He let Harry’s arms encase him and the grip kept getting tighter and tighter making Niall choke a little bit.

“You’re crushing me that’s not affection.” Niall whined looking up then, his face dangerously close to Harry’s. Both boy’s breaths caught in their lungs, eyes catching and staring with a masked feeling. Niall bit his lip again and looked away when he started to feel his blush deepen.

“Just take my hugs and lay down with me you dork.” Harry pushed him to the side a bit making Niall fall in the crease of the couch. The boy gasped a little hanging onto Harry’s arm so he wouldn’t fall completely underneath Harry and the couch cushion.

“Fine,” He growled biting lightly at Harry’s arm.

“But you’re a shit you know that?” Niall questioned then, nuzzling his head into Harry’s shoulder. His heart fluttered when he felt Harry press a kiss to the top of his head.

“Of course I do, but you love me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! Please leave a comment if you liked it, I would love love love to get some feedback? It means a lot ! Thanks! Also, follow me on tumblr! Ziallshippingislife.tumblr.com


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry wished he could make it all go away. He wanted to try as best as he could. Because right now the blonde boy who was shaking and sobbing against him made his heart beak in two. He wished he could be the one to mend him back together.

For the next week Niall hadn’t seen a glance of Zayn anywhere. He wasn’t in class and he hadn’t been wandering around the hallways aimlessly searching for the blonde like he usually was so he guessed that Zayn really was done with him this time. It made his heart ache a little, knowing that Zayn was already giving up on him so easily, but that is what Niall had wished for so he had no right to complain.

It didn’t matter very much anyway. This entire week he had been with Harry. Unlike the usual weather for this season it was surprisingly warm for a couple days. Harry had an idea to spend it playing soccer in the park. He always knew how and when to cheer Niall up perfectly.

They had a delightful afternoon playing one on one, and of course Harry couldn’t keep up with Niall’s expertise skills. They laughed and joked throwing banter back and forth and during the time when Harry tackled Niall, he couldn’t help but notice Harry’s features a little bit more closely than he normally would.

Niall had noticed recently the way he had been watching Harry lately. At first he paid it no mind, Harry was his best friend after all, but by the third time he had noticed the way Harry’s adorable dimples are very prominent when Niall makes a genuine laugh come from his abdomen and the way his eyes tend to sparkle when he’s staring back at his own blues he felt a familiar feeling in the pit of his stomach.

He tended to blush a little more than what was expected of him and it had turned out it was when Harry was around him. Any kind of flirtatious look made his heart pick up a few paces and whenever he commented on anything about him his cheeks would burn.

Harry really made a true smile form on his face and at the minute he couldn’t stop thinking about him. But now he was on his way to class getting excited because Harry was in it. Everything seemed to go faster and be way more fun when Harry was around. He was rounding the corner then when a tight grip snatched his shoulder and yanked him back forcefully.

Niall stopped in his tracks and gave a short gasp then as he turned around to see another set of vibrant green eyes, but these weren’t Harry’s protecting concerned filled ones, they were vindictive and clouded with rage.

“Annaleise.” Niall addressed her, a scornful look among his face, but her body language was screaming with irritation as her arms were crossed over her chest and her foot was tapping moderately paced.

“If you don’t stay away from Zayn, Niall I swear to god-”

“I wasn’t anywhere near him today you psycho so leave me alone.” Niall cut in instantly, disregarding anything that she was saying. He knew that she was going to start some bullshit that he did not want to deal with. He left Zayn alone, and he told Zayn they were through. Why wasn’t she finished with her tormenting yet?

She then chuckled, her laugh laced with vexation.

“You know what, you’re as desperate as you look.” She insulted, rolling her pretty green eyes and flipping her long blonde hair over her shoulder. “Zayn doesn’t give a shit about you and he never fucking will. No matter how hard you try he isn’t falling for an ugly little gay boy like you.”

That made Niall brace himself. She smirked when she saw how her words had some affect. Unlike before, this time Niall wasn’t going to back down. He wasn’t weak and quiet anymore. He was pissed. Beyond fucking irritated, and now it was time for him to retaliate.

Niall smiled smugly then, placing a finger upon his chin, his eyes scrunching up as if he were thinking.

“You know,” He chuckled, his face holding an expression of remembrance while Annaleise looked bored with him. “I believe I remember it was that same Zayn who was fucking me in the back seat of his car a few years ago, now could I be making a mistake?”

Niall’s smirk only grew more extensive as he saw the way she froze right to her spot. He could see her chest starting to rise and fall more rapidly. Her glare was slowly and painfully stabbing Niall with every passing second. The tension was building to the point where you could visually see it.

“You’re fucking disgusting. You think I’ll believe that bullshit lie?” She snapped, and this made Niall’s eyes go wide. He could sense her defensive aura, and the borderline apprehension in her eyes was a dead give away.

It was quiet for a few moments with Niall pondering over the entire situation. It should have dawned on him before, but it never occurred to him that Zayn would be this much of a lying bastard.

“He’s never told you anything about us has he?” Niall breathed a laugh of disbelief. Annaleise’s anger was starting to bubble and Niall could see it spilling over now as he continued to speak.

“You two had one kiss. He told me about that and that’s all he said that happened because you forced it upon him.” She jabbed a finger at him, and Niall’s jaw only continued to drop.

If that could have been any farther from the truth. At this point it was almost painful to think that Zayn couldn’t even tell her. Niall was Zayn’s first and Zayn was Niall’s. Everything was new to them and they explored it together. Niall carried those moments with him still, and he knows he’ll never be able to forget them.

Zayn was always so gentle with him, treating him as if he would break at any moment if he pushed Niall too much. He was sweet really, and Niall couldn’t have wished for anything or anyone else for his first time. When he lost his virginity to Zayn, he cried for an hour after. He didn’t even understand why. It had scared the shit out of Zayn who was trying like mad to condole him and make him stop his tears, but Niall had promised that everything was fine and completely perfect.

That day was the first day he had fallen for Zayn completely. Everything after that for about two months was beautiful. They kissed, they loved, they were together. They were Niall and Zayn, and Zayn loved to spoil Niall like no tomorrow.

He would buy him random simplistic but thoughtful things, and cuddle with him on the couches for so long that they would fall asleep in each others arms with Niall’s head pressed to Zayn’s chest, as the raven haired boy hugged him tight like he never wanted to let go. He held Niall like he was precious to him, and then one day, everything seemed to shatter. These memories are the ones that Niall misses, but now they continue to create a gaping hole inside of his chest.

“Wow, that is gold.” He sighed out then, running a hand through his hair. “But hey, it’s so nice to know that Zayn’s not only been lying to me and everyone else. He was lying to you as well.” He chortled but Annaleise paid him no mind. She glared at him, and Niall knew there was no way that she was going to ever listen and heed his words, but at least it was out there for her to contemplate.

“Like I’m going to believe anything your filthy mouth spits out. You’re just so desperate for him you’ll say anything.” She scoffed. This time she was turning away and slinging her bag over her shoulder with force. Before she completely stormed away, she turned back and raised her hand and Niall’s eyes caught the glimmer of the ring on her finger. “I’m not going to warn you again. Stay away from my fiancee.”

With that she was swaying her hips as she walked away. Niall felt his entire body burning inside. He didn’t even realize he was clenching his teeth and balling his fists in anger. This time he was outraged. This was the last straw.

~      ~      ~      ~      ~

When Zayn changed, Niall didn’t see it coming. It was instantly over night, and that was what surprised him and broke him the most. It wasn’t like they were fighting, everything was completely perfect the night before. Niall had gone to bed with a smile spread out on his face, his lips still tingling with the feeling of Zayn’s own being pressed softly upon them.

He had departed from Niall’s house late that night, saying he loved him before he left, an affectionate gaze held in his eyes as he waved goodbye hopping into his car and driving off down the street.

That morning, Niall remembered, started off weird. Since Zayn had been living down the street from him for more than ten years, the boy would walk with him to school every single day. Zayn would show up with one of his mom’s scrumptious cinnamon rolls or delicious home baked muffins. When he never arrived, Niall felt a little confused.

He texted Zayn multiple times as he walked to school on his own. It was a cold morning in the beginning of December, it was his eleventh year and everything including homework and sports was weighing him down like crazy. It seemed like he never had time to do anything anymore.

When he noticed that Zayn hadn’t answered any of his texts, he had assumed the boy was sick and sleeping at home or that he had accidently over slept and was scrambling to get ready. He remembered smiling about it, thinking that had to be the reason, but when he saw Zayn instantly as he walked into their class hallway, his heart felt like it was punched.

His face contorted into hurt when he saw how Zayn was slowly scrolling through his phone, but the blonde looked down to his own, he noticed how there were no messages still. Niall bit his lip and began to walk closer to the older boy.

 _“Hey.”_ Niall greeted putting a smile on his face, trying not to come off as annoyed or even upset. He watched as Zayn stiffened in his place, his eyes averted, glaring at the ground, and his lip was worrying between his teeth. Niall tried to look past it, continuing to grin. _“I must have missed you this morning?”_

 _“Not really, I just decided to walk by myself today.”_ Zayn’s voice was strained, and his words were sharp. Niall winced, and stared at the boy with an annoyed face now. Zayn didn’t have to be acting this way. If Niall had done something wrong, or made him upset in anyway, he should just confront him about it. Niall didn’t like hidden emotions, and they never hid them from each other before, so he didn’t understand Zayn’s actions now.

 _“Okay?”_ Niall sounded almost offended, raising an eyebrow. Only Zayn’s expression didn’t change, and now they stood awkwardly as others were passing by and giving them weird glances. It made Niall blush a little, not liking the stares on him making him uncomfortable. That’s when Niall tried to get Zayn to look at him, but the other was refusing. _“Are you mad at me or something?”_

 _“Not really.”_ Zayn deadpanned, and Niall was getting pissed. His attitude was really uncalled for, and that’s when he grabbed Zayn’s wrist and dragged him into one of the empty classroom’s around the corner of the hallway. He could feel the way the boy was trying to resist. When they entered, the lights were off and the only brightness was coming from the little bit of sun though the windows. Niall crossed his arms, and stared at the raven haired boy who still had not returned a single look.

 _“Okay, what’s up with you?”_ Niall blatantly questioned then, his tone a little sassier than it should have been, but he didn’t like when Zayn ignored him. If he was angry then he was going to just have to come out and say it.

Niall watched as Zayn’s face morphed into sadness for only a moment, but then his eyes shot daggers instantly when his gaze snapped up making Niall’s own go wide, and his breath caught in his throat.

 _“We’re over.”_ The blunt statement made Niall’s heart drop into the pit of his stomach. It was quiet for a long moment, like all life had been sucked from the room and the dead silence was eating at both boy’s ears. They stood there staring at each other, pain stricken blues and impassive dark brown. Niall shook his head when he couldn’t stand the quietness anymore and looked at the boy with wild wonder filled eyes.

 _“What?”_ He gasped.

 _“You heard me the first time. We’re done. Over. I don’t want you anymore.”_ Zayn spoke monotonous. Niall felt like his heart was sinking, drowning in the acid from his stomach. He clenched his teeth and tried not to let the tears come to his eyes hearing Zayn’s awful words.

 _“Zayn, I don’t-I don’t understand,”_ Niall had whimpered, he was clenching his hands so tight he could feel his finger nails digging deep into his skin almost making him bleed. He squeezed his eyes shut, praying he was going to wake up because this had to be a dream. Zayn couldn’t have meant anything he was saying. He was supposed to love him... _“W-What happened? Did I do something?”_

When Zayn placed his hands in his pockets and silently shrugged his shoulders, Niall’s world seemed to shut down as Zayn stared at him with a look of pure hatred.

 _“It’s simple.”_ Zayn stated quietly, turning around and heading for the door instantly, nothing slowing him down. The bond he had just detached seemed to sever the other boy, and the strings were dropping to the cold floor, useless. Niall was staring at him, his entire body shaking, tears welling inside of him. His heart being tortured by the emotions which were stabbing him.

The time seemed to slow as he watched Zayn turn his back on him but before he walked out, his last spoken sentences had broken everything off with Niall entirely, the words tying around his heart suffocating his already bruised organ.

_“We weren’t a real thing, those feelings were fake, and I know you are really attached to me. But get it through your head, and quickly, that everything we had was nothing to me.”_

Niall couldn’t breathe he was crying so much. He broke down and shattered watching his everything, the one thing that was most important to him dissipate in front of his blurry eyes.

~

Niall had tears in his eyes as he slammed open the front door of his apartment. He didn’t mean to be so forceful, but his anger was surging through him. His eyes were welling up with frustrated tears. He quickly discarded his bag on his shoulder and his coat from around him and threw it in a pile on the floor.

“That fucking bastard!” He yelled as he kicked his shoes off in a different direction. His heart almost popped out of his chest when he saw Harry’s wide eyes staring back at him in the doorway of the kitchen. He scared him, he had completely forgotten he was home, but his irritation was quick to return as he remembered everything from only an hour ago. That stupid bitch Annaleise had him furious.

“Woah, Niall?” He questioned then seeing Niall’s face which was beet red with an angry scowl. Niall continued on pushing past Harry a little roughly making the younger gasp a bit as he stepped to the side watching the steam coming from Niall’s ears.

“That fucking cunt, that fucking asshole mother fucking son of a-!” Niall cursed, but Harry then grabbed the boy’s hand and the blonde turned and glared at him harshly, but Harry only smiled.

He could tell the boy was pissed beyond belief and that he probably didn’t mean that anger filled glance as much as he thought he did at the moment.

“Niall, please, calm down what the hell happened love?” He asked softly, and even this made Niall calm down just a little bit just seeing Harry’s caring eyes, even though it wasn’t much. He saw how a few tears had escaped the blonde’s own eyes now, and his grin then flipped to a frown in an instant. Niall was upset. Someone had made him so angry and sad and this was not okay with him, and he had two possible candidates in mind.

“You want to know what fucking happened?” Niall said lowly, but then his raging eyes which were sparkling blue with the tears inside of them snapped up at Harry’s own hurt ones and he clenched his teeth. “Zayn’s a son of a lying bitch that’s what happened!” He screamed then, and Harry noticed how his shoulders were shaking.

“Hey, Niall, c’mon you’re alright.” He promised him then, pulling him in gently by his hands. He could see how he was sniffling, trying to stop the tears from pouring out past his eyes. He looked so broken and Harry hated it. He brought Niall into his chest, and the blonde plastered himself to the taller boy. He clenched his fists onto his shirt pressing his face into his chest.

“No Harry! This is so unfair!” He bawled then, his tears soaking through Harry’s shirt. “Why is Zayn doing this to me? Wh-Why?" The boy bit his lip, squeezing the blonde even tighter feeling him spluttering in his arms. He continously ran his fingers through his soft locks, trying to soothe and calm him down.

He hadn’t seen Niall this broken since the first time he had ran into Zayn all those many weeks ago. But now, he noticed this was much worse. He was clinging to Harry like a life line as he broke down sobbing hard into his chest.

“I know. I know, and you shouldn’t have to deal with this.” He cooed into his ear, kissing the top of his head lightly. Harry felt the anger deep inside of him being riled up, but right now he could only feel the pain and sadness Niall did as well. Every time he saw Niall break because of this stupid bastard it made him even more upset.

“He kept everything about us a secret. He lied to her. He lied to everyone. He’s so embarrassed of me he can’t even admit it!” Niall cried, and Harry’s arms only held onto him stronger as he felt him slipping. This piqued Harry’s inner rage.

Harry would never tell Niall because he knew it wouldn’t benefit him in anyway, but he noticed the way Zayn was constantly telling people how Niall was hopelessly in love with him and he didn’t know how to let him down. He was saying this behind his back. It made him bite his lip he wanted to speak up but was always holding himself back knowing maybe it wasn’t his place. He always wanted to say something but he knew nothing would come of it, so he let it go.

Zayn was nothing less than a jerk. Everything he had put Niall through, and is still putting him through is absolute shit, and Harry wished he could make it all go away. He wanted to try as best as he could. Because right now the blonde boy who was shaking and sobbing against him made his heart beak in two. He wished he could be the one to mend him back together.

“He shouldn’t be embarrassed of you.” He whispered, petting the blonde’s hair again. “Niall no one should be embarrassed of you.”

“Why?" He ignored Harry altogether, more sobs coming from him. “What’s so wrong with me? Why does he do this to me?” Niall continued his cries, and Harry could see in his eyes as he pulled back a little to look into the red rimmed shimmering blues that he was destroying his self esteem. The way Zayn and this Annaleise girl had so much power over his feelings and emotions sickened him.

Niall tried to stop his hiccups and cries rubbing at his eyes which were creating rivers of tears, but he couldn’t stop blubbering. Harry placed a finger under his chin then, making the boy look up. His wet cheeks also tinted with a shiny pink color from all the crying.

Harry smiled at him, trying like hell to cheer him up. He rubbed his thumb over the tracks of his tears breaking the stream along with trying to soothe his skin lightly.

“Babe, please don’t- don’t cry please, c’mon.” He pleaded. Seeing Niall like this was killing him. He didn’t want to see him cry like this ever again. It was hurting him as well.

“Harry, I-I can’t anymore. I can’t fucking stand this.” He sighed out, his hands still tangled in Harry’s shirt. He noticed the wet spots on the white fabric poking at them, whispering a quick sorry, and then continuing. “I try and act like it’s not killing me on the inside but it hurts so much I can’t bare it.” He looked away feeling more tears rising. “I miss him like crazy and I can’t stop loving him but I want to stop loving him and everything just hurts and I want it to stop.”

This made Harry’s heart pang in jealousy. He hated hearing Niall saying how much he was still in love with Zayn. This hold he has on the raven haired boy was tearing Niall apart and both of them could obviously see it. He only wished that he could break it and try and coax Niall back into the happy person he used to be. This broken detached Niall was painful to watch.

“You can do this Niall. I know you can.” Harry reassured him, once again giving him a dashing smile, but the blonde just shook his head slowly.

“I don’t think I can, I really don’t think I can.” He doubted making Harry grip onto his shoulders then, making the blonde look up and stare right into his captivating eyes.

“Yes, Niall you will. Someday you’re gonna find someone who cares for you, and they’re going to treat you right. I promise I swear it.” He grinned, and Niall’s eyes were wide. He could see the truth written on Harry’s face, and he couldn’t help but tumble over into another wave of tears.

“Harry.” He whispered, grabbing onto him again. He just wanted Harry. He wanted him close. He wanted him near. He just wanted to hold onto him and never let go. His warmth was spreading into Niall’s body and he welcomed it with open arms. Harry was calming and a great cuddler, and that’s what Niall needed right now.

“I’ve got you love.” He promised, as he picked Niall up carefully. He carried the smaller boy to his bed, resting him down upon it and then laying down instantly next to him. The blonde quickly attached himself to the boy, burying his head into his chest, and he could feel the way the he ran his fingertips lightly against his back.

Harry breathed in Niall’s scent, his sweetness rushing inside of him. He noticed how the boy’s breathing had calmed down some and his loud retching sobs had gone down to little hiccups of tears. He hugged him even tighter when he adjusted his head up to look into the boy’s eyes.

He hated to say it, but Niall’s eyes were even prettier when they were stained red. The crystals inside of the bright blues were shining and radiating beauty. His face was soft as he ran his thumb over his cheek again, but this time the blonde’s eyes slowly lidded shut. He smiled, seeing a small grin come onto the boy’s face.

He was so beautiful, and Harry couldn’t believe he was holding him so intimately in his arms. Everything felt surreal as he realized how this was everything he had been ever wanting for the past few months. Of course, Niall not crying about Zayn would be nice, but he would never complain about anything.

He knew this was important to the blonde. Harry knew all he wanted was for Zayn’s feelings to be returned. He wanted everything from his past. He wanted to relive the old memories, knowing that everything was much happier and easier when Zayn had just loved him and wanted him.

After he lost that, Harry knew Niall thought that he would never be alright again. How could he think things would get better when everything was perfect right before he lost it all? Harry wanted to show him though, as he felt Niall’s head nuzzle into his chest again, that he could make him happy, that he could have everything and that happiness with him.

“Hey, Niall.” Harry spoke, his heart racing inside of his chest. He rubbed at Niall’s back slowly, as the boy hummed against him.

“Hm.”

“You know, I...” His breath cut off then. The words wanting to come out, but right now he could have never felt so unsure. He bit his lip and shook his head then, his mind tricking him out of what he wanted to say. Maybe right now wasn’t a great time. “Never mind it’s nothing.”

Niall sat up then, almost instantly, his bright eyes meeting with Harry’s nervous ones.

“No, what is it?” He questioned curiously, and Harry frowned, averting his gaze, but he immediately felt Niall’s nimble fingers pulling his chin back towards him. His heart then lodged itself in his throat and he cursed as the blonde smiled through his tears at him.

“It’s, just, can I tell you something?” He asked cautiously, and Niall nodded, his eyes a little nervous as well now.

“Of course you can, you always can.” He told him, and Harry sighed out and rubbed Niall’s shoulder then his hands fidgeting as his heart was beating faster and faster.

“I don’t want you to freak out though. Please, if it’s too much to handle just, don’t say anything.” He pleaded, and Niall bit his pink lip once again nodding his head but this time a little slower.

“O-Okay.”

It was quiet for a moment then with Harry’s hand limply falling to the side. He knew what he wanted to say, but it continued to get restricted inside of his throat. He saw the way Niall was staring at him waiting, his wondering eyes prying at his own. He gulped then, and instantly spat out what he wanted to sort of say.

“I think- I think I really like you.” He blushed, knowing that wasn’t exactly how he wanted to say it, but it was too late now, and when he saw Niall’s jaw drop a little, his heart began to panic. “I know this is the last thing you want to be hearing right now. But I want you to know that I care for you so much, ever since the first day I met you.”

He admitted, not allowing his eyes to meet Niall’s yet. His heart was hammering against his ribs and if he looked at the blonde he was pretty sure his ribs would crack as it spasmed.

“I didn’t realize it at first, but along the last couple months I figured it out and I know you probably don’t feel the same way at all, but-”

“Harry, I-I know what you mean.” Niall cut him off, his voice soft, and when Harry’s eyes snapped up to meet Niall’s he saw him smiling, and a certain emotion was clouding his eyes.

“What?” He whispered, thinking maybe he just thought he heard Niall say something.

“I think I, well, I think I like you too.” Niall’s little smile was prominent on his face. The one he used when he was being shy. Harry could see the blush forming on his cheeks, and he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful he looked at the moment. The moonlight was shining through the window reflecting off the blonde’s beautiful skin. His eyes shimmering and brilliantly shining as he stared back at Harry, and right now he couldn’t think he could be anymore in love with this boy.

“Seriously?” He questioned carefully, and Harry’s inside were warming as he felt this amazing feeling throughout him.

“You have made me happier than anyone these past few months, but I know, and you know, I’m still in love with Zayn, and there’s no changing that right now.” Niall spoke then a sudden sadness appearing on his face, and Harry’s heart jarred with those words, but he knew that was coming. He knew he couldn’t just ask Niall to stop loving Zayn in one day. Those two had gone through a lot together, but Harry wanted to go through this with him too. He wanted to love Niall like Zayn had once before, but he’ll do it better and he was going to prove it.

“Yeah, I know.”

“I’m sorry, it’s just too hard to just stop forgetting about him completely you know-”

“Then let me try.” Harry cut him off then, his tone almost borderline begging.

“Let you try?” Niall echoed, his eyes giving Harry a questionable glance.

“Let me try and win your love over. I want you Niall, and I want to show you how precious you are to me and what you really deserve.” Harry grabbed the boy’s hand then rubbing his thumb over his palm. Niall looked down, and Harry knew he was blushing from his words, and this made him smile.

“Harry-” The boy sounded unsure, but Harry wanted this. He wanted to do this. If Niall could just see how perfect and worthy he was of him, Harry would spend the rest of his life making this boy happier every single day, with that being his striving goal.

“Please, just let me take you on a date. Can we try this out?” He asked again, his tone and voice full of pure hope.

Niall’s heart was floating inside of him. He felt his cheeks burning, and he smiled even wider as he saw Harry’s gaze. The boy was perfect, and he knew he had to give this a shot. He wanted this too, and he wasn’t going to let those feelings for a lost cause get in his way. Besides how could he say no to someone as pretty and marvelous as Harry?

“Yeah, I mean, it’ll be good you know, for me and yeah...” Niall agreed and Harry instantly wrapped his arms around the blonde making him squeak in surprise.

“You have no idea how happy you make me...” Harry trailed off, his smile prominent and wide. This moment was perfect and he couldn’t believe this was happening. It almost felt like a wonderful dream to him as Niall pulled back then leaned in and kissed his cheek softly. This time Niall chuckled at the way Harry’s cheeks lightened up.

“Let’s go to sleep, I want you to cuddle me.” Niall smiled, his words hugging themselves around Harry’s heart making it melt. He kissed Niall’s forehead as the blonde then rested his head upon Harry’s chest again, lightly gripping onto his shirt and closing his eyes as he felt the way Harry held him tight.

“Sleep tight love, alright?” Harry whispered, and the blonde snuggled even closer smiling against his chest.

“Thank you Harry.”

Said boy closed his own eyes then, his heart thumping with love while the moonlight disappeared behind his eyelids.

~      ~      ~      ~      ~

Niall was freaking out a little. He was inside his room staring at himself in the mirror frowning at everything possible on his body. He sighed. He just didn’t look as good as he wanted to. He wanted to look desirable, but right now he felt like his appearance was dull and uninteresting.

He was trying to get ready for his date with Harry, and he shouldn’t have been so nervous but he was. His heart was fluttering and he kept biting at his fingers. It had been a week since he and Harry had been just a little bit more than friends. It had been wonderful too, Harry was one of a kind really.

Harry then leaned in the doorway, staring at the blonde for a moment, watching as he checked himself out in the mirror. He spoke up then startling the boy a little bit.

“You look absolutely gorgeous if I may say so myself.” He grinned wide, and Niall blushed biting his lip. He looked himself over again and shrugged his shoulders, making Harry roll his eyes seeing the way the boy was once again doubting his words.

“You think? I feel like this shirt isn’t like, I don’t know I don’t like it that much I was planning on changing.” He said, but Harry just shook his head.

To be perfectly honest Niall was so blind. He couldn’t see how good he looked no matter how many times Harry tried to tell him. The thin black t shirt he wore beautifully contrasted with his pale skin. His blonde hair, which Harry loved to card his fingers through, was messy upon his cute head making him look hot. Harry liked how he could look so attractive in simple attire.

“Niall, c’mon, yeah? You look fine in anything you wear.” Harry pointed out, making Niall’s pretty cheeks pink up a little. But still the boy continued to shrug his broad shoulders. He could see the way he was then glancing Harry up and down with a slight frown on his face.

“Yeah, but you look so like good and I just-”

“You’re ridiculous. If you think I’m better looking than you, you need your eyes checked.” Harry cut in, making Niall stop his words, his frown still shown on his face. Harry sighed, knowing there was no way Niall was going to listen to him so he walked over towards him, looking down at the self conscious look on his face. Harry would never understand why Niall thought so badly of his looks.

“You need to realize how pretty you truly are.” He told him then, and Niall stared up with parted lips with his cheeks burning red. Harry smirked seeing this reaction from the adorable blonde. “Now let’s go sunshine.” He told him, grabbing the boy’s hand and lacing their fingers together, rushing down the stairs and out of the door.

Harry noticed earlier that it was a tad chilly but he thought walking to the theater would be nice. It would give them more time together but also it would give him more time to hold the blonde’s hand so maybe it was because he was just a little selfish. He couldn’t help it though. He wanted to have this closeness with the boy, but right now he knew it was a little restricted.

He wanted tonight to be perfect though, and when he saw the way Niall shivered a bit he felt a little guilty. Maybe he should have gotten them a cab. Maybe he should have just made dinner at home. Maybe he shouldn’t even be doing this because he was actually panicking on the inside because what if Niall thought he wasn’t worth it?

That was the last thing he wanted. He wanted to prove to Niall that this could be the best relationship he could ever have. He wanted to be perfect and reliable. He wanted to give Niall everything, and shower him in love and happiness. Maybe he was acting like a love sick fool, but Niall did crazy things to him.

He gripped onto Niall’s hand a little tighter then, squeezing it gingerly, making the boy gently look over towards him with a slight smile.

“So, I thought about just a movie, and then we could walk home after through the park? I know it’s not really extravagant, but I mean-” Harry began but Niall’s chuckling cutting him off.

“No, it’s perfect. I’m not looking for extravagant anyway. Simple things are just as meaningful.” He assured him with his blue eyes shining like always. Harry laughed then, a little nervous and he was pretty sure it was showing.

“I’m glad.” He rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand. “Honestly, I was starting to feel really nervous because I really want this to be perfect, and I thought maybe I should have like got us a nice place to eat because I know how much you like restaurants but then I was thinking how I know you wanted to see that new movie, and-”

“Hey, hey, this is brilliant. No need to worry and ramble.” He promised but laughed again, making Harry turn a light shade of pink. Niall liked this side of Harry. The caring type. It made him feel nice to know that he made Harry a little nervous for this. It showed how he really cared for the blonde. Obviously not wanting to screw things up. But there was no need for him to be because Niall was pretty positive their little date was going to go well.

He knew Harry and Harry knew him better than anyone so they would find a way to have fun. That was the amazing thing about them, there were no awkward moments between them. They were open and honest and that’s one of the things that would really help them to work out in the future.

“Was I? Sorry, I’m just, I guess I’m a bit nervous if I’m being truthful.” He chuckled, the nervousness still present inside his voice with his eyes giving away some evidence as well.

“It’s just me, you know. No need to be.” Niall told him, bumping his shoulder with the taller boy’s softly, and Harry returned a small smile looking down to see how yes, this was just Niall, but he was so much more than that.

“That’s the thing though.” He began to explain, “It’s you, and I don’t want to ruin this chance you’ve given me.” He observed the way Niall blushed again, and smiled. The boy was always blushing, but this time he even found himself going a little red.

“You know I’ll love you either way even if you trip me or spill popcorn on me by accident, I’ll forgive you.” Niall joked and he could see Harry breathe out a hearty laugh.

“Don’t jinx me. That might actually happen now.” He chuckled, swinging Niall’s hand back and forth between them. Niall was laughing even harder now, knowing nothing was particularly funny, but the image of Harry actually spilling pop or popcorn on him was quite comical. He could only begin to wonder what the look on his face would be.

“Well, now I’m forgiving you in advance.”

As they continued their small walk down to the movie theater they actually had ended up running towards the finish when they were close because the wind started to pick up. When they arrived, the place was quite packed. Everyone had wanted to see the new movie that had just come out, Niall had especially had been talking about it quite a bit. Harry wasn’t really that interested, but if Niall wanted to see it he would sit through and watch it. No matter what movie it was he was happy to accompany the boy.

Niall almost ran up to the ticket window, smiling at the brunette girl who had punched in their ticket prices. Harry was quick to pull out his wallet, even though he knew Niall was going to protest, and slipped the twenty through to the other side. Just like he said, Niall started to complain, but the curly haired boy just grabbed his hand and pulled him through the doors ignoring his input.

Niall had made Harry laugh when the small boy ordered the largest order of popcorn he could possibly get. The thing was that he knew Niall could finish it all and thought about grabbing a small for himself, but he decided against it, he wasn’t that hungry anyway. He smiled genuinely though when they sat down that Niall had offered some to him. It wasn’t very often when Niall would share.

Harry held onto Niall’s hand almost the entire show, and the boy wasn’t sure why but he couldn’t really pay that close attention to the movie when he was sitting so close to the blonde. He tried to stop himself looking through the corner of his eyes to try and stare at him, but he couldn’t help it. The intrigued look on Niall’s face as he watched how the movie was portrayed made Harry want to watch him the entire time. Besides he found Niall way more fascinating than the movie.

When the movie had ended and the lights were starting to return Niall slumped back in his seat. Harry chuckled as he noticed the look on the boy’s face. He was going to ask the blonde what was wrong until he spoke up before he could get the chance.

“You know, it was interesting, but I’m not exactly sure I understood it completely.” Niall groaned, standing up instantly then breaking his hand free from Zayn’s for a moment so he could stretch out his limbs. He liked it, but he probably would have liked it a little more if he understood.

He bent down to pick up his popcorn bowl which was, not surprising, completely empty. He noticed how Harry was standing up too and the blonde smiled at him seeing him taking the trash from his hands and throwing it out in the nearest garbage bin for him.

Niall then reached out and laced their fingers together, missing the warm feeling of the others. Harry smiled at this, feeling how Niall carefully intertwined their fingers as they were leaving the theater.

“Yeah, it was a bit odd. But hey, that’s what happens when you decide to see a complicated movie.” He shrugged his shoulders, and Niall chortled.

“You’re just saying that because you didn’t get it either!” Niall accused, plus the fact that he realized Harry had been watching him the entire time instead of the movie.

“Okay maybe, but hey you picked it!” Harry laughed, and Niall rolled his eyes, but then latched himself to the boy’s arm when they stepped outside.

“Alright fair enough.” Niall grinned, as he hung to Harry a little. It was now freezing outside, but Niall didn’t care. It just gave him more of a reason to attach himself to the taller boy. He liked Harry’s warmth anyway.

The park was bright from the moon shining down on the ridiculously tall tree tops. The pathway was shining with the crystals being lit up to show them the way. The faint sound of the earth surrounded them with the breathing wind and speaking animals. Their footsteps paddled against the ground and with Niall looking so beautiful with his cheeks rosy from the wind and his eyes gleaming with moonlight.

“You know what though?” Harry spoke then, making Niall pull back a little to look up at him with curious eyes.

“What?”

“I like this.” Harry told him, making the boy a little confused with his words. He chuckled seeing this.

“You mean like-”

“I mean like us. The idea of us. I feel like we fit together well.” He told him honestly, a blush spreading over him as he let out his emotions. Sharing his feelings wasn’t exactly easy, but with Niall he felt like the blonde wouldn’t ever judge him, so he could be as open as he wanted. That’s what made him like Niall so much. He made him feel comfortable.

“You think so?” Niall asked, a smile breaking across his own face.

“Don’t you? It’s like I could have a best friend and a boyfriend all in one.” Harry noticed as soon as he said it the pained look on Niall’s face. His word choice not exactly a smart move there, but it was true, if Niall did someday want to have that title, he would certainly let him.

“Yeah, b-but-”

“I know, I’m not saying you’re my boyfriend or anything.” He made clear, and it seemed to give Niall a silent sigh of relief. “When you want to be though, if you want to be, I’ll wait for you to be ready, you just gotta let me know.”

“Now you’re making me nervous.” Niall blushed, laughing, and Harry stopped them in the middle of the path now. He couldn’t get over the fact that Niall’s eyes were so gorgeous in this light. He watched as they glimmered when he smiled. His skin shone and his beauty was radiating and Harry didn’t think he could get anymore beautiful than he was right at this moment.

“C’mon it’s just me.” He repeated Niall’s own words form earlier that night, and the blonde stepped closer, wrapping his arms around Harry’s neck. Niall visually saw how the green eyed boy gulped and he smirked at that.

“And that’s the thing.” He whispered lightly, “It’s you.”

Everything seemed to slow as Harry’s eyes couldn’t break from Niall’s soft lips. His tongue darting out and wetting the precious area. He settled his hands on the boy’s small waist, tugging him in a little closer, and he could hear his heartbeat from where he was standing. He could sense how the boy tended to keep leaning in.

“Can I kiss you?” Harry asked cautiously, unsure if Niall was alright with that, but Harry felt the boy’s lips getting dangerously close to his own and his heartbeat was ringing in his ears as he felt the blondes words almost spoken upon his lips.

“It’d be embarrassing if you didn’t since I’m already leaning in.” Niall chuckled, and without another moment passing, Harry’s lips were being pressed to Niall’s in a small kiss. Harry held his breath, his heart hammering, while Niall ran his fingers through the hair on the back of Harry’s head.

Harry’s lips were a tad bit nervous along being gentle, but Niall was confident, smiling into the kiss as he pulled back to press another soft one to Harry’s own. It was warm with passion and when Harry pulled back to look into the blonde’s eyes, they both laughed, instantly colliding their lips together again under the moonlight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading guys! Please leave a comment if you liked it? I hope you do, Always means a lot to me. And I'll be putting up probably the last part very soon! Thnx ilysm (:


	4. Chapter 4

Niall was smiling across the table in the library from Harry as he was trying to figure out the answer to his stupid chemistry problem. He was tapping his pencil like crazy because he was being a little impatient. He and Niall had the class next hour so he knew he needed to hurry up. He couldn’t take another zero it would kill him.

Over the past couple days Niall had been the happiest he could have ever been. He didn’t think it was possible but that happiness he used to know was slowly slipping it’s way back inside of him. Everything was perfect when all he had to think about was the green eyed boy in front of him. Harry was an absolute sweetheart to him and he couldn’t believe he was fortunate enough to be in his life. 

The fact about Harry was that he could read almost every detail of Niall’s emotions, and sometimes he was difficult to understand so that power came in handy. He knew how to hold Niall, and cuddle him better than anyone else ever had. He was aware when he was sad and when he needed a laugh. When Niall was irritated or bothered he knew when to keep his distance, but not so much to the point where Niall thought he was ignoring him. They teased each other and laughed wholeheartedly. He was like a best friend and a boyfriend all in one. 

When Harry looked up with a desperate face, Niall couldn’t help but laugh. If the boy would have just done his work at home instead of spending the night kissing and cuddling Niall then he wouldn’t be having this problem. 

Harry’s eyes changed instantly then to a glare, and Niall felt confusion wash over him. He blinked a couple times and then studied the other for a moment only to realize that Harry wasn’t snarling at him but noticed how he was glancing carefully over his shoulder.

“Niall!” Niall then whipped his head around, and his heart felt like it dropped to the cold tile floor and shattered. He sighed and turned back towards Harry instantly who looked upset, but masked the emotion strong with a slight smile.

“Oh no.” Niall whimpered, resting his forehead on the table then. Of course this would happen right when everything was going well. Zayn knew exactly when to make such an unwanted appearance. 

“Hey, do you want me to stay or go?” Harry asked, his hand gently resting over the blonde’s. Niall sat up then, and shrugged his shoulders. Zayn looked like he was in a hurry, that same desperate look clouding his eyes just as Harry had a moment ago. But his was a little different he felt. 

“I don’t know, that look on his face is weird, would you mind if I caught up with you later?” Niall asked and he half expected for Harry to get angry or even a little pissed but there was no sign of those emotions anywhere. He had only simply smiled and started to gather his things. 

“No problem at all babe.” He told him, and Niall was a little worried at that response from the curly haired boy. Niall knew he hated Zayn anywhere near him, so he wasn’t sure why he wasn’t glueing himself to his side and demanding that Niall stay away from him. It felt, strange, since Niall kind of wished he wouldn’t just go that easily. 

“Alright.” Niall bit his lip, but Harry instantly leaned in, surprising the boy a little and planted a firm kiss on his lips, capturing his chin between his nimble, gentle fingers tilting the boy’s head higher so their lips would slot together. Niall’s eyes were lidding shut at Harry’s soft but almost amorous touch. When he pulled away there was a slight smirk among his face and Niall looked back at him with a blush on his own , but the taller boy just winked at him. 

“I’ll see you for lunch.”

After Harry had walked out of the library Zayn had caught up and was standing right behind him. Niall slowly started to gather his work, not paying the boy any mind, secretly wishing he would saunter away, placing his things in his bag and then stood up and faced him. 

Zayn’s face was laced with pain and despair, and Niall wanted to roll his eyes. He didn’t have time for this. Zayn was just going to do what he normally does. Make Niall upset and angry. Whenever anything came out of his mouth it pissed him off. He didn’t understand why Zayn couldn’t just figure out how to leave him alone. 

Niall did see however, the way Zayn was clenching his right fist and how his body was tense.

“So you guys are together?” He questioned, dark and accusing, and Niall rolled his eyes like he knew how to do best. Obviously he understood Harry’s sudden kiss now. He wanted Zayn to see it. It made Niall chuckle inside, he knew Harry better than he thought, the jealous bastard.

“What do you want Zayn?” Niall snapped, making the boy wince at the force of his voice. 

“I just, wanted to say hey since I haven’t seen you in a few days.” He told him his eyes averting towards the floor. His body language was hard to read, and right now Niall didn’t want to try and unlock the message he was trying to send. 

“Well, hey, now I have to go to Chemistry.” Niall spoke quickly, turning and heading towards his class. He just wanted to get back to Harry. Once again another pointless conversation with Zayn was pissing him off. He wished he would just go the fuck away. 

“No, Niall please wait.” Zayn almost yelled, grabbing onto the boy’s wrist halting him. Niall’s eyes went wide and his heartbeat stopped. The familiar feeling of Zayn’s skin touching his own made him swallow nervously. The tingly but borderline burning awareness of Zayn holding to him, just like the death grip of his love latched to his heart.

“Zayn I don’t understand what is so hard for you to grasp here.” Niall sighed, and he wanted to yank his pale, trembling hand away but he felt like he was frozen. Hypnotized by Zayn’s touch. “We are through.”

“We are far from it and you know that.” Zayn stated firmly, his grasp tightening on the blonde. Niall felt his heart clench, that feeling that rose inside him making him feel sick. This was the part where Niall’s heart and mind battled each other. 

It was as if Niall’s heart wanted the raven haired boy, but his mind was doing anything in it’s power to stop him. He knew Zayn wasn’t good for him. He was toxic for Niall, and every single word and every motion that Zayn said or took towards Niall was fake. Just like Zayn had said all that time ago. 

“What do you want Zayn? What the fuck do you want from me?” Niall whispered, his voice laced with pain and hurt. Zayn refused to let go, actually pulling Niall even closer to him turning the blonde around so he could look him in his bright blue eyes.

“I want you to stop shutting me out like this! I want you in my life again Niall I miss you like fucking crazy and it’s killing me not having you and-”

“Annaleise.” Niall broke in, and Zayn looked like he got slapped in the face but on the other hand the blondes face was firm and determined. “That’s all I have to say.”

This pissed Zayn off then, making him clench his fist and grit his teeth. 

“Stop being a smartass and just listen to me.”

“How about you listen to me.” Once again, Niall cut him off and he didn’t care if it was pissing Zayn off. “You think that I’m going to just put up with the constant harassment she gives me every time I even look at you? That I’m going to put up with my heart fucking breaking every time I even see you? It’s not happening. Not again for you to just throw me away. Never again Zayn.”

His words seemed to sink into Zayn’s skin, going towards and penetrating his heart. He could feel Niall’s smaller body shaking, his eyes staring at the ground. Zayn didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to reason with him. He just wanted this dispute to end. 

“Niall, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. Every single thing I have ever done to you. I swear I’ll try and make it up to you.” Zayn was begging now, but Niall just found his words empty promises. “Please.”

Niall watched as Zayn’s eyes bored into his, trying to convince the boy. Niall sighed and closed his own now. He thought then, as he remembered the conversation he had with Annaleise the other day. He snapped his eyes open, staring hard the one in front of him.

“Then stop lying to her.” He declared, and Zayn’s confused look returned to his face.

“What do you mean?” He questioned carefully, his hold on Niall releasing slowly.

“You never told her about us. You never breathed one word about it besides some bullshit lie of me throwing myself all over you.” 

“What are you saying.” From the look on Zayn’s face he could see the scared emotion in his eyes. Niall was determined though.

“I’m saying tell her the truth, Zayn.” He snarled, even though he knew this was something that Zayn would never do. Why would he jeopardize his relationship with Annaleise because of him? Niall knew it showed that he didn’t care at all about him. No matter how hard Zayn tried Niall knew some things would never ever change. 

“I-I...” He stuttered, and Niall couldn’t suppress the chortle he held in his chest. 

“Exactly.” He remarked. “You’re embarrassed of me and what we shared together. The most important things I held dear to me, you treated them like worthless memories.” This was it. He was fed up. He began to walk away. He needed to get to chemistry anyway, and besides he missed enough of Harry for the day. 

“Niall, it’s not like that it’s-” Zayn tried once again, but just like before Niall broke in not letting the boy finish his sentence. 

“My boyfriend won’t like it if I’m late. I have to go.” 

Those were the last words Niall spoke as Zayn watched him walk away through the doors of the library. Zayn cursed then, and kicked the chair Niall was sitting in, biting his lip so hard he thought he was going to tear it open. 

There was no way he was losing Niall to that son of a bitch.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Niall was walking fast paced through the hallway. He was frustrated once again. He had no idea why Zayn had such a powerful effect on his feelings. It was starting to get really annoying, but he swore he was trying to get better at ignoring it. 

Obviously though, ignoring Zayn was still proving to be a problem. He hoped though that after that little talk that he wouldn’t be saying another word to him in a while. There was no way Zayn was ever going to breathe one word about him to Annaleise. She would go crazy. It would ruin everything they had, and that was a fact.

He cackled to himself though imaging her reaction if Zayn actually did tell her. It would be amazing to see the unbelievable look on her face. It would be so worth it. But even Niall knew that was something that was never going to come. Annaleise would never know the truth, but he couldn’t be bothered by that.

He didn’t want to be bothered by it, so he wasn’t going to let himself even think about it. Besides he needed to catch up with Harry now. They did have chemistry but the more he thought about class the more he wished he could just skip. 

So that’s what he proposed when Harry had come walking up to him grabbing him by the waist. Niall smiled seeing the boy.

“Hey love.” He greeted, and Niall was relieved he wasn’t bombing him with a bunch of Zayn questions at the first look of the blonde.

“Do you want to skip?” He questioned, making Harry waggle his eyebrows at the boy.

“Oh, bad boy side coming out of you, huh?” This comment made the blonde giggle and blush a bit. 

“I just want to go somewhere. Anywhere but here.” He shrugged his shoulders, and Harry just nodded at him. The taller boy then intertwined their fingers together and started to lead him through the hallway. 

“Alright sweetheart you just tell me where and I’ll lead the way.” Harry took charge, and Niall smiled liking how Harry was open to anything that he suggested, even though he was pretty positive anyone would have taken him up on the skipping class offer. Besides, chemistry was so tedious. 

When they stepped outside the freezing air chilled them to the bone. It was quite chilly with the winds blowing like they were. The temperature had made them decide quickly and they were running towards the other side of the street in an instant. 

There were many places to get a bite to eat and drink some delicious coffee, but for some reason they were always attracted towards the one place they knew best. Connie’s Coffee shop. When Harry pulled out Niall’s seat for him to sit down he waved hello to Connie who chuckled and nodded at the both of them. With just that small nod, they knew she would be right back with their latte orders.

“It’s sad how we come here even on our day’s off.” Harry laughed then, making Niall chuckle as well. 

“I guess it fits though. We did meet each other here.” He pointed out, making Harry nod as he waved to Elisha. He hadn’t seen the girl in a while. He hadn’t had much time for working lately with school plus Niall and all. 

“Very true. I remember the first time that cute blonde head of yours walked in here.” He reminisced, smiling fondly at Niall then, a blush forming on the pale boy’s cheeks. Harry liked the way it matched the puffy red scarf he was wearing. 

“Hired me on the spot too.” He winked back, and at that moment Connie had brought the two their latte’s. Niall a caramel and Harry’s a hazelnut. Harry quickly blew on the hot beverage and took a sip as it slid down his throat warming up his chilled body. 

It was quiet for a bit then with both of them slowly sipping their drinks. Harry was also observing the blonde for a bit. He could see the tension in his body and a bothered look written on his face. He frowned then, playing with a grain of sugar which had been left on the table. 

“Are you alright? You look kind of distracted.” Harry asked then, a worried tone in his voice. Niall’s bright eyes snapped up, but the other could see the way they didn’t look as gleaming as they usually would. They were a little clouded with fret. 

“Yeah no I’m fine. Sorry I don’t mean to be.” He apologized quickly. He didn’t want to worry Harry at all. That was the exact thing he wanted the least. He didn’t want him to blame himself for Niall’s upset mood, and he knew he would. 

Harry was trying to read Niall, but it seemed like the faked smile worked for once as the curly haired boy just shrugged his shoulders and continued to sip his espresso drink. 

“Okay, as long as you say everything is okay. You know you can tell me anything love.” He assured him, and Niall then did show a true smile. 

“I know. I will tell you if anything is wrong I promise. I owe you that.” He said, but Harry was shaking his head, his curls bouncing a little. 

“You don’t owe me a single thing. You tell me if you feel like and when you’re ready to talk.” He nodded at him, and Niall blushed again. Maybe he did see the emotion in Niall’s eyes then. He cursed himself knowing Harry wanted to budge and ask him but felt he shouldn’t. 

That’s what made Harry so perfect. He didn’t want to crowd Niall or invade into his personal space, but he made sure that he knew that he would always be there for him. He liked when Harry had him pour out his feelings when the boy knew he needed it. Harry always knew what Niall needed, and he couldn’t have been anymore grateful for that.

“You’re too good for me, you know that.” He informed him, but Harry just let out a short laugh. 

“I think it’s the exact opposite way around babe.” He objected, and once again Niall’s cheeks were going bright red. Harry smiled as he watched the boy try and hide it behind his even redder scarf. 

“You know, you blush a lot.” Harry told him, smiling when the boy threw a sugar packet at him right in the middle of his forehead making him flinch but then laugh instantly. 

“Shut up I can’t help it.” Niall whined, rubbing his cheeks with his cold hands trying to get his stupid blushing to calm down. He couldn’t help it around Harry, he turned beet red whenever the boy said anything about him. Sometimes he was so nervous he would just be blushing all the time. It was ridiculous if you asked him. He hated it, but Harry seemed content still staring at his pink stained cheeks. 

“I like it. It’s cute.” Harry said, and Niall just rolled his eyes. 

“It sucks because I get all nervous and warm and then I get all gross and ugly looking.” He exaggerated, and Harry then let his cold hand rest on Niall’s burning cheek. The blonde’s big eyes stared back with wonder then, and Harry just smiled wide, showing his teeth. 

“Well I think what you think is gross and ugly is very cute and attractive.” Harry said, his eyes traveling to the boy’s protruding pink bottom lip. His heart was starting to speed up as he couldn’t help but notice the way Niall worried it between his perfect teeth. He really wanted to kiss him. He couldn’t help that thought when Niall did look so desirable. 

“Liar.” Niall accused, and this time the curly haired boy rolled his eyes. 

“Just shut up and kiss me.” He demanded, and Niall chuckled and then leaned in and planted a soft kiss upon the boy’s lips. Whenever he did this, Harry’s breath always seemed to get trapped inside of his lungs, unable to find an exit. With Niall’s sweet lips pressed to his he couldn’t even think. He was such a love sick fool, and he knew that, but he didn’t care. As long as he could continue to feel these lips against his then he didn’t care in the least. 

Harry then gripped Niall’s chin lightly between his fingers, holding the boy there as he savored the moment. Whenever Niall made the move it made his heart hammer inside of his chest. He finally let go when they both had to pull away for some needed air. 

Niall was still blushing and biting his lip, but he looked happy. The most satisfying feeling Harry could ever be given was the fact that Niall was happy with him. All he could ever ask for was for that beautiful smile of Niall’s to always be resting upon his perfect lips. 

“Do you want to watch movies tonight?” Harry asked, a hopeful tone to his voice as he grabbed Niall’s hand standing up. 

“We have work in the morning.” Niall said, knowing that tonight he would want to get to bed a little early because he had to be up at six in the morning. It was always a pain in the ass, but at least he got to work with Harry.

“Yeah but I want to cuddle you.” Harry whined, gripping onto Niall’s hand tighter as they walked out of the door of the little shop. They waved goodbye to Connie, telling her they’d see her tomorrow, but Harry was being persistent on watching these movies

“Can’t you cuddle me when we’re sleeping?” Niall questioned, the cold air of the outside returning to nip at his cheeks. He shivered and shuffled closer to Harry who was more than happy to hold him closer on their walk home. 

“But I want to watch t.v for a while~” He dragged out his words, whining like a child and that’s when Niall rolled his eyes giving in.

“Fine you whiner.”

“Yay!” Harry cheered, making Niall gasp as he began to drag him along even faster. Niall chuckled then knowing the boy just really wanted to get home so he could lay with the blonde on the couch and snuggle him until the morning. Niall wasn’t complaining though, because he was kind of excited for that himself. 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Niall was sitting in his writing class in the early morning trying to ignore everyone he could around him. It was too early and he didn’t care to interact with anyone today. Harry was once again playing hooky like a bum so he was all alone. He also noticed how Zayn and Annaleise weren’t present.

He didn’t really care though. It was just an observation. He was working on his inspiration project as he accidentally over heard a conversation behind him. 

“Did you hear?” It was barely a whisper, but for some reason Niall could hear it. It was hard not to when you were bored and alone. He sighed trying to block the voices out and continue to work on his project, even though that was a little harder than expected.

“Yeah, some girl and her boyfriend were having a fight this morning and she punched him in the eye.” The brown haired freckled boy spoke softly behind them. Niall froze. His eyes widening in curiosity. 

“No way, you serious?” He questioned, a slight chuckle laced in his voice.

“Yeah, it was incredible. He was trying to talk to her all quiet and then bam, hit him smack in the eye.” Niall felt his throat starting to swell up. His brain couldn’t help but throw around ideas in his head. He wished it would stop, but maybe, just maybe...

“Woah, man wonder what happened there.” They continued, and Niall heard the way the boy sighed out. 

“Don’t know, but looks like she’s on the market now, which is a great thing she’s hot man.”

“Do you even know her name?” The other boy chided, and Niall felt his heart stop at his next words. 

“Ya, I think it’s Anna.”

Niall’s eyes bursted wide then. His airways being blocked off by the surging shock running through his body. He felt like he hadn’t drank water in three days with his throat being so dry. He couldn’t believe this was happening. He noticed the way his fingers were shaking, and instantly he stood up knocking his chair down and was running out the door. 

He knew people were staring at him like a fool, but this couldn’t be happening. Zayn couldn’t have. He wouldn’t have. This was unreal and Niall needed to find him. There was no way he would have ever expected this and his heart beat was racing so fast it was giving Niall a headache. 

Even the thought of Zayn and Annaleise in this big of a fight, so much to the point where other’s were already assuming she was single was unbelievable. He wasn’t even sure how to feel about it. The only thing he could process or think about that could have possibly made Annaleise so angry, is the thing he told Zayn to confess. 

But there was no way. There was no fucking way.

Niall was now running fast down the hallway. He still had to be there. There was no way he could have missed him yet. He needed to talk to him, He needed to be there. Niall needed to get the facts or it was going to eat him alive, and half of him wished it not to be true.

If it was true, if Zayn told her willingly, there were questions swimming inside of his mind wanting to bust free. But for some reason, he just couldn’t believe it to be. 

Niall slammed his way through the doors to the outside. He failed to wear a coat, obviously not thinking, but he knew where Zayn would most likely be. 

He would be outside smoking a cigarette and when Niall spotted him exactly where he knew he would be he didn’t stop running until Zayn’s wide eyes noticed him and he was halting right in front of the boy.

“Zayn.” Niall said exasperated. The raven haired boy stared at the blonde who was now heaving with his hair strewn across his forehead especially from the wind. He sighed and threw his cig on the ground stomping it out with his foot. He knew word spread fast but he hadn’t of thought Niall would have found out already.

Niall winced as he noticed the giant red mark right under Zayn’s eye. It was bright and painful looking, and he saw the way Zayn looked distressed. His mind was whirling. It was true. Everything those boy’s said was true. His heart was skipping inside of his chest. There was no way this could have happened. No way, but Zayn’s black eye was obviously telling him otherwise. 

“Hey Ni.” Zayn breathed out then, his voice tired, and Niall couldn’t help but blurt out his next choice of words. 

“D-Did you, yo-you didn’t...” He tried to ask but all he could do was stutter. His blush was prominent on his cheeks when Zayn looked over right into his wondering eyes. Everything seemed to slow down when Zayn nodded his head slightly. 

“Wouldn’t very well have this black eye if I didn’t now would I?” He remarked, but Niall couldn’t believe it. Or more so, he didn’t want to believe it. This couldn’t be fucking happening. Zayn couldn’t have told her. He couldn’t have told her anything about him. He wouldn’t. That wasn’t like Zayn. Or at least he thought it wasn’t.

“W-What happened? Why did she-” 

“We broke up, Niall.” Zayn deadpanned, and if Niall’s jaw could have hit the floor then it would have smashed down hard upon it. Niall’s heart pounded and everything felt unreal. It felt like a dream as he stood there in the freezing cold, the hair on his arms standing up trying to keep him warm as he stood out in the blistering wind. 

“Seriously?” He whispered, more to himself than anything. It just didn’t seem right. Ever since Niall could remember it was Zayn and Annaleise and Annaleise and Zayn. Nothing would break them up. They were supposed to get married and live happily ever after like they planned. Zayn had left him for her, with broken promises and so many tears, and now seeing him separated from her was just so ficticious. 

“It was inevitable.” Zayn sighed, shrugging his shoulder casually, going to take out another cigarette. 

It was quiet for a while then, with Niall shivering in the cold. Zayn noticed then and shook his head, quickly shedding his jacket and draping it around the blonde’s shoulders. Niall couldn’t even smile. He couldn’t do anything besides let out the one word which was eating at his mind. 

“Why?”

“Because we weren’t good for each other Niall, our relationship was toxic and-” Zayn tried but Niall cut him off. 

“No why did you tell her? Why did you do it?” Niall gritted his teeth. His anger was rising inside of him again. He didn’t understand. Niall didn’t matter to Zayn, and for years that’s how it was. He was the least of his worries and he was happy. He was so damn happy with Annaleise. He didn’t understand why the hell he would ever admit it to her. 

That was supposed to keep Zayn at a distance. It was supposed to remind him why they could never be together. He was embarrassed of his relationship with Niall and he wanted to keep it a secret. Zayn wasn’t gay, he didn’t like Niall, their relationship was a total lie. But now, everything seemed to be up in the air ready for questioning. 

Zayn looked at him though, completely mind boggled, and that look triggered something inside Niall. 

“That’s what you told me to do? Why are you asking that? You told me to tell her and I did.” He answered so simply. But there was a hint of annoyance and disbelief behind his tone with his eyes confused, and that’s what made Niall snap. 

Zayn wasn’t supposed to say a word, this unknown relationship was supposed to keep that barrier strong between them, holding Niall back from Zayn, leaving Annaleise to sew him to herself. Yet he had replied with such simplicity and Niall clenched his fists because it wasn’t simple just to tell her of their past and of everything that they were. Nothing about that was just plain simple. 

“Why did you listen to me? Why, Zayn? Tell me why.” Niall wanted answers. None of this made any sense. Zayn was supposed to go away and marry her. He was supposed to leave Niall alone to finally be happy, let him find someone else and he had. He found Harry and now he just needed Zayn to stop this bullshit. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go.

“Because I fucking love you, you twit.” Zayn’s eyes captured Niall’s. Only his held seriousness and Niall’s held pure terror. 

“Shut up.” Niall instantly spoke. “Shut up no you don’t!” 

Niall couldn’t breathe then, with the tears welling up inside of his eyes. He felt his heart slamming against every rib as it fell on the way down to his stomach. He was lying. There was no way Zayn was telling the truth. He left him. He broke him. There was no way any of this was true. 

It felt like he was being humiliated. He couldn’t believe him. He felt a few tears slip past his eyes. His mind was screaming at him to run away. This was bad for him, he needed to find Harry, but then again his heart was telling him this was everything he ever wanted. He wanted Zayn’s love. He wanted Zayn’s warmth. He wanted everything he had to offer, but he knew better than before. He couldn’t. 

“Niall, I broke up with her. We’re over. Annaleise and I are done with each other because I realized how much I will always fucking love you no matter what I do.” Zayn sounded so desperate, but Niall wouldn’t listen. He didn’t want too. Zayn spoke lies, and nothing but false truth.

“Why.” The blonde whispered, and Zayn grabbed his hand gingerly. 

“Why what? Why do you keep asking that?” Zayn asked then, his voice gentle now trying to reach the blonde. He was somewhere deep inside his mind, he wasn’t thinking straight. Zayn could see the confliction in his nervous eyes. 

“After all these years? After all this time?” Niall yelled, and Zayn just stepped closer, and this time Niall hadn’t stepped back. 

“I’ve never been so fucking sorry before in my entire life Niall. I made huge mistakes. I shouldn’t have ever left you. I fell in love and it scared the shit out of me.” He breathed out, trying to make Niall listen. “When I realized Annaleise came along, and I knew she wanted me, I gave in allowing her to take me away from you.” He admitted, and his heart broke a little seeing Niall shaking his head with tears streaming down his cheeks, a terrified disbelieving look in his features. “When I saw you on the first day of school, it was like I was given another chance. I don’t want to screw it up again.”

“Y-You were my everything. You left me. You broke me.” Niall blubbered, knowing he was a complete mess right now, but hearing everything he wanted to hear for so long was beating his heart to a pulp. But it was too late. This wasn’t what he wanted anymore. He felt Zayn’s fingers twine with his. 

“And you were my everything, Ni, you always were and you still are. I never thought differently, no matter how hard I tried.” Niall was still shaking his head, even more tears pouring out of his eyes, breaking Zayn’s heart, seeing just how much he hurt the blonde in these past few years. “Leaving you was was the biggest mistake I have ever made, Ni. Please.” 

He begged, but Niall just averted his gaze and closed his eyes. Zayn slowly reached out and wiped a tear from the younger boy’s eye, trying as hard as he could to try and bring out that Niall who used to love him, because deep down he still did. 

“I love you. I never stopped. I swear. I- was just so afraid of my own feelings. People finding out I was in a relationship with another boy. My parents freaked out. I felt so confused, I didn’t know what to do, and then Annaleise made everything so easy for me to tear myself away from you and I’m just so sorry.” He confessed, and Niall’s eyes went wide then, whipping back up towards Zayn’s pained ones. 

“You never t-told me that.” Niall whispered. It made sense now though. Zayn’s parents never letting Niall come over. People whispering slandering words towards the two. The sometimes nervous glances inside of Zayn’s eyes. 

Niall bit his lip harshly. He had always just ignored what others had said. His parents couldn’t change him no matter how hard they tried, and there was no way he was scared of himself. He wasn’t that much of a coward. But Zayn was. And he dragged Niall’s heart down with him and there was no excuse for that. 

“I didn’t have the courage to.” Zayn said, his voice held shame, and Niall then wiped at his eyes. 

“I- fuck this- it’s just way too much.” He breathed out, and Zayn then rested his hand upon Niall’s cheek, the blonde leaning into his touch on accident. He cursed himself, but didn’t pull away. It was just so familiar he couldn’t help it. He had craved this touch for a long time. 

“Please, Niall. I know it’s hard to forgive everything that I’ve done.” Zayn spoke honestly. “But if you let me, I swear I’ll treat you right this time. I’ll make up every single second we missed together. I’ll make everything up to you Niall.” Niall then chanced a glance up, and saw the way Zayn was smiling at him, that well known grin that had Niall weak at the knees. “You’re precious to me.”

That’s when Niall’s heart started to panic. He noticed the way Zayn was slowly leaning in. His eyes resting on the blonde’s lips, and Niall couldn’t move. He was frozen, unable too move his body. His senses grew more aware. He could smell Zayn’s sweet aroma stronger and stronger with ever inch he grew closer. He could feel the soft breath on his lips, and the soothing thumb rubbing his bright pink cheeks removing his delicate tears. He could almost taste Zayn’s delicious lips on his own, and he could easily see the blood pumping faster through Zayn’s veins from the nervousness but also the desired want. 

He was dangerously close, when Niall finally found his voice. 

“N-No, I can’t I-” He whispered, and Zayn halted for just a moment. His eyes closed, and Niall tried to move but he couldn’t he was solely captured by heart, and there was no way he could move until Zayn let him go. 

“Yes, you can. Just please...” Zayn pleaded, and Niall felt another wave of tears hit him. He didn’t want this. He wanted Harry. He wanted anything else but this. He didn’t want to fall again. He couldn’t fall for Zayn again. He was sure to fall, and he wasn’t sure he could recover from another bad break. 

“S-stop...” He begged, but Zayn was ignoring his protests, his bottom lip colliding softly with Niall’s top one. 

“Stop me. Tell me you don’t want this.” He whispered against Niall’s own then, and the blonde just gulped, feeling his breath being restricted inside of him. He was shaking, and he knew this time it wsan’t just from the freezing wind, and he couldn’t help but grip tightly to Zayn’s thin black shirt. 

“Zayn, I’m begging you.” He pleaded one more time, but all of that fell on deaf ears when he felt the familiar feeling and bitter taste of mint and cigarettes of Zayn’s lips pressing against his own. Zayn kissed him gingerly, but he was unresponsive. This wasn’t what he wanted. And as much as he would have wanted to feel Zayn’s perfect lips pressed to his about a month ago, now he couldn’t have wished for Harry to be here more. 

When Zayn finally pulled back he rested his forehead against Niall’s, the boy still letting tears slip past his eyes. Obviously, going unnoticed by Zayn. 

“I’ve missed that.” Zayn whispered, and Niall then shook his head, making Zayn back away a little bit. 

“I-I’m with Harry.” He gritted his teeth. He had just cheated. He shouldn’t have let this happen, but he did. He let this happen and now he felt guilt rising deep in his gut. 

“You’re lying.” Zayn told him then, gripping onto the boy’s upper arm, but Niall shook out of his grasp. 

“N-No I’m not we’re- he’s my boyfriend!” He yelled trying to get the words out, and Zayn looked shocked as Niall raised his voice at him. He could see the tear tracks on Niall’s face and the sadness and frustration his features held. Zayn bit his lip an averted his gaze towards the ground. 

“If he was your boyfriend you wouldn’t have let me kiss you.” He commented, and Niall felt his heart drop at that statement. But he was right. Harry technically wasn’t Niall’s boyfriend. Harry was still under the impression that Niall wasn’t ready. So, really he hadn’t cheated, but it still hadn’t felt right. At heart, he was with Harry, and he knew that he couldn’t have Zayn if he wanted to keep Harry. He couldn’t let the boy go.

“He’s the one who’s precious to me, he wouldn’t and will never hurt me.” Niall told him honestly then his eyes firm with confidence with his words, and this seemed to make Zayn visually wince. Niall felt his heart do a backwards flip crashing down on it’s head, unable to land properly. 

“Don’t, please, Niall I know you’ve been waiting for me for so long. Please, I can’t lose you again.” Zayn begged, and Niall just shook his head, now shaking off the jacket from his arms and tossing it back to the taller boy. 

“It can’t be again if I never came back.” He retorted and Zayn’s face fell at this. He went to grab at the boy but Niall took another step back shaking his head. Instantly Niall turned on his heal and was running back towards the school. A few tears were still squeezing out past the blonde’s pained eyes, but he couldn’t just stand there and allow his heart to break like that any longer. 

“Niall please!” Zayn yelled after him, a hand stuck out beckoning him to come back, but the boy didn’t even turn around. Zayn felt his heart break as he watched the boy run away from him again, the powerful force of deja vu hitting him, witnessing Niall disappear from his eyes just like the last time he let him go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter threeeeee is up! please please leave a comment if you're reading and like it, it means a lot, and alsoooooo follow me on Tumblr! Ziallshippingislife.tumblr.com


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Niall had now was more important than ever, and Zayn bringing back a shattered dream and a hope of a memory wasn’t going to let him mess it up. Harry helped him find his courage of independence, even if he did need the boy’s shoulder every now and again to help him get back on track, but he knew if it wasn’t for the boy he loved so dearly right now, he would still be a lost soul traveling the streets of London with a broken spirit and an absent mind.

The disbelief running through Niall’s mind was making him sick. The look on Zayn’s face was carving itself into his mind, making his heart ache. It felt like a nightmare and he desperately wanted to wake up. The unbearable from the past pain stabbing at his chest. The newer guilt feasting on his insides. Everything just hurt and he had no idea what to do.

He had ran back inside the building the cold air not phasing him anymore as his body heat continued to rise. He ducked through the halls trying to go unnoticed finally making his way into the nearest bathroom. He was thrilled to see no one was inside, and he carefully made his way over to the sink.

He caught his breath and finally glanced up in the mirror. His skin was paler than the white tile that covered the floor, with his eyes were filled with nervousness and regret. He took a gaze down at his hands which were shaking slightly. He bit his lip then and clenched his fists. Even after all of this time, even after Harry, after everything, Zayn still had this effect on him.

It seemed like no matter how much time tended to pass the feelings would never disappear completely. The love he felt for Zayn would never dissipate like he wished it would.

Niall almost jumped out of his skin then when his phone started blaring inside of his pocket. The loud ring tone catching him by surprise. His shaky hands quickly snatched the vibrating gadget from inside his jeans and answered it with a tight swallow, his throat constricting a little.

“Harry.” He spoke, his voice wavering. Even now, he couldn’t be strong, even when he desperately wanted to be.

“Niall?” Harry asked instantly hearing the unsure tone in the blonde’s words.

Niall took in a deep breath then, allowing himself to calm down. It was just Harry, he had reminded himself, and there was no way he would ever blame him or be mad at him. If he just explained everything, then there wouldn’t be a problem. He at least hoped.

It was quiet on the phone, Niall still not sure how to respond. The words wanted out, like he wanted to scream what had happened and how terribly sorry he was. He never meant for Zayn to do anything like that. It was a surprise attack almost, with Niall’s body going into shock. He didn’t have control.

He didn’t want it, even though deep down inside he thought he did, but he didn’t. He wanted Harry and no matter what Zayn had said or how hard he tried to manipulate him, he wouldn’t change his mind. Harry was too important to throw away for some crazy unrealistic dream of possibly having Zayn. Even if he could have him, and all of this was real, he didn’t want it.

“Harry, I-I need to talk to you right now.” He choked out, and he knew he was freaking Harry out with the way his voice was cracking but he couldn’t stop it.

“Okay, alright where are you?” Harry asked, and Niall could hear some rustling on the other end, smiling knowing Harry was probably packing up his things from his current class.

Niall was heading out of the bathroom now himself and was getting ready to head to his car. There wasn’t anyway in hell he could handle the rest of the day, and even if he could he didn’t want to. He couldn’t keep his mind straight at the moment, and there was no way he could properly listen in a long lectured classroom.

“I’m heading into area C parking lot, please H-Harry hurry.” He begged. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. He just wanted to go home with Harry and lay on the giant couch and watch movies and just be with each other. He didn’t want anything less or anything more.

Most importantly, he wanted to forget Zayn and everything about him. He was happy with Harry and him being around would remind him of that. He wanted to wipe his memory of Zayn, deleting him from his past. Even the memories of their most wonderful times were painful for Niall to even think of in these moments. And now, the way he was mentally tearing Niall apart with the confusion and unknown lies or truth, he didn’t know how to feel.

“Okay, I’m coming right now. Babe is everything okay? Are you alright?” Harry spoke quickly, while he was stepping out of his classroom, his teacher glaring at the back of his head irritated that he was interrupting but Harry didn’t care. Niall sounded so unnerved it was scary.

Niall listened to the boy’s worried questions and wondered how to answer. He wasn’t sure, and as his fingers ghosted over his lips where Zayn’s were just recently placed it made a few tears rise into his eyes. He rubbed them away instantly, along with wiping his lips on the back of his hand wanting no trace of the darker skinned boy anywhere on his body.

“No- I mean, yes- I mean- I don’t know please just-”

“Yes, I’m coming I’ll be right there, wait for me.” Harry told him firmly with a promise inside of his voice. It made Niall’s heart settle a little.

It was cold outside and Niall felt the stinging air numbing his thoughts. With nothing but the freezing wind rustling inside of his mind, it was easy to forget everything for the moment. He wished it would all just disappear like he had tried to make it a few times. But the cruel reality of this all was breaking through, no matter how much he tried to block it out. His mind was with Zayn, his heart was with Harry and his sickened stomach was with Annaleise.

He felt bitter with the taste of Zayn on his lips, and the guilt was rising like bile in his throat. He gripped at his neck, feeling the blood pumping through his veins faster than normal. The thumping of his pulse against his pointer finger tapping against his skin.

His nerves were pricking at him with the thought of Annaleise. He could see her foul eyes breaking him open and eating away at all his insecurities. There was no possible way she was alright with this, and that’s what scared him. He felt like this was all his fault, and even though he wanted to hate the girl, he couldn’t. She was happy with Zayn, and Zayn was happy with her and he had gone and ruined it. He wished he could be happy he hurt her, but he felt guilty and disgusting.

His eyes started to tear up then as he was trying to comprehend what he was going to do about Zayn, but all of a sudden he had felt a soft grip on his shoulder. He spun around so fast he almost tripped and toppled to the icy ground.

“Harry.” He breathed out, seeing the curly haired boy all flustered and nervous. Niall didn’t waste one second and instantly crashed himself into the other. His arms wrapping around his slim waist and holding him tight. His face pressed into his chest, feeling his warmth seeping through to his own body. The familiar wanted feeling was putting him at ease.

Harry was shocked for a moment, but then rested his hand down atop the boy’s soft silk hair, running his fingers through it. He could see him shaking, knowing it wasn’t just from the frigid air.

“Hey sweetheart, what’s wrong, what happened?” He questioned, pulling the blonde back, trying to look at him. Niall took a deep breath, his eyes puffy with tears still not fallen resting inside the blue crystals waiting to spill over. His throat was starting to swell again, but he could feel the guilt pushing up through his esophagus.

“Z-Zayn broke up with Annaleise.” He whispered, and Harry’s eyes widened, and it caused a few tears to spill out over past the boy’s eyes. Harry squeezed his shoulder then, running his finger over the tear that had escaped, erasing it from his face.

“What?” He asked carefully, trying to get the shorter boy to elaborate.

“He-He confessed his feelings for me. He told me he never stopped loving me, Harry- I can’t I just-” More tears poured from the blonde’s eyes making Harry pull him in for another hug. Niall sobbed a little against his shoulder, and Harry just rubbed his back soothingly and closed his eyes.

He couldn’t pretend this didn’t irk him. The burning fire inside of him was too great to suppress. It was just like Zayn to come in and attack Niall’s feelings like they didn’t even matter. There was this strange attachment he held to the blonde and as it was on it’s last string he needed to re-attach it himself. Only he was tearing the blonde apart in the process and he didn’t seem to realize what he was doing wrong.

Niall was a wreck, and all of this was too much for him. Harry knew and could see it clear as day, and Zayn knew it too. They both knew this was every single dream Niall had thought up of at night for years. It seemed when he had finally gave up that dream and found himself a new one, he needed to bring back those nightmares and break him all over again.

Niall was still crying into his shoulder and Harry knew he needed to calm him down. The boy was shaking out of control now. He was so upset he was breathing irregularly. He understood though. This was complete and utter shit what Zayn was doing to him. Harry loosened up his grip, continuing to pet at the boy’s back gingerly.

“Hey, it’s alright. Just breathe okay. You’re gonna give yourself a panic attack.” He coaxed, but Niall wasn’t calming down.

“Harry I’m so sorry.” He blurted out then, gripping onto his shirt, his eyes fixated on the ground.

“Why are you sorry?” Harry asked his heart pounded a bit.

Niall’s eyes finally looked up to see the vivid green ones staring back at him with a glint of fear, but more full of concern and care. It made the blonde bite his lip, and tear his gaze away. He couldn’t look at him. He felt the shame sinking into his skin.

“H-He kissed me. I told him not too, but he wouldn’t listen. I couldn’t push him away I’m so fucking sorry.” He apologized, the words slipping past his lips with the tears falling along with them.

Niall felt sick as he turned back to see Harry’s eyes slowly close shut. The heart stabbing disappointed look in the boy’s eyes breaking him in two. He felt the guilt and regret inside of his stomach again boiling and churning, making him want to pass out.

His chest tightened and his muscles stiffened as the green eyes opened, an unknown emotion filling them. Niall hiccuped, trying to keep down anymore sobs from erupting, but it was hard at that point with Harry staring at him with an almost blank unmoved expression.

“It’s alright.” He said, and Niall felt his heart clench.

It was anger. The masked emotion was rage and Niall knew it. He betrayed him, and it was all his fault. He knew Harry thought he was a lost cause, even though he tried to show him what everything could be like if he would have just been with him. He wanted Niall’s heart, but his heart was still linked to Zayn in some way, and now everything was ruined and he couldn’t stand it.

“Please, don’t be mad at me.” Niall broke then, grabbing at Harry’s hand, and the taller boy’s eyes went wide at Niall’s cry. “I told him I was with you, I told him you were my boyfriend and I-”

“Hey, it’s alright, I promise love I’m not mad.” Harry chuckled lightly telling the blonde honestly, a hand going up to hold Niall’s bright red ice cold cheek. Niall shook his head then, tears coating Harry’s hand too as he continued to blubber.

“You shou-should be. I’m a cheater and I’m screwing everything up and I’m sorry. I’m such a fuck up. ”

“Stop talking about yourself like that.” Harry scolded him, and Niall looked up in shock for a moment. Harry’s eyes were locked onto his with a loving emotion now, and his thumb was brushing against the blonde’s cheek. Niall’s heart was pounding as he saw Harry trying to come up with words to say, his lips parting, but then shutting instantly until he finally spoke. “The only thing I want to know is are you going to go back to him?”

“What?” Niall questioned instantly, and Harry sighed now, shrugging his shoulders.

“You told me you still loved him Niall, and I’m not going to hold you back from anything that you want.” He said gently, his hand dropping from the boy‘s cheek then. “If he makes you happier than I do and you want him more than me then be with him. Even though I don’t want you to ever leave me, because I would try every day to be better for you, but I won’t keep you back.”

The words he spoke hurt him in every way possible. There was no way he wanted Niall to leave him for that bastard, but he couldn’t stop him even if he tried if that’s what the blonde wanted. More than anything he just wanted him happy, and even though he knew there was no way he would be happy with Zayn, he would need to let him go.

That was the agonizing part. Watching the blonde in front of him, his eyes averting his gaze at every moment, biting his lip and playing with his fingers. The question wasn’t an unfair one. He knew there was a part of Niall that was still afraid to completely commit himself to someone other than Zayn, and he couldn’t blame him. Zayn used to be his everything and anyone with a set of eyes could see it. He was the only person he let himself get closes too and he broke him.

“I-I don’t know what to do.” Niall spoke then, his voice low.

What shocked the blonde then was, that wasn’t what he wanted to say. He wanted to say no. He wanted to say the hell with Zayn, but in all honesty he knew he couldn’t. A fraction of him still wanted Zayn, and that part of him was tainted and foul and he wasn’t afraid to admit that.

“That’s fine love, you don’t need to know right now.” Harry told him, and Niall just grabbed his hand gently, slowly intertwining their fingers. Harry smiled, knowing what the boy wanted to say. Harry knew he wasn’t going to leave him that easily, and also Niall knew he wasn’t going to give him up completely without some sort of a fight.

“Will you stay with me?” Niall asked, the hope laced in his voice,

“That’s not even a question babe. Of course I will you know that.” Harry assured him along with that signature smile of his. The two then decided they had hung out in the cold long enough, and Niall opened his car door, tossing Harry the keys allowing the more stable person to drive home.

Niall sat himself in the passenger seat, his hand still locked with Harry’s watching the boy carefully, still seeing that unsure emotion present on his face. But Niall just sighed and looked away, trying to place a smile on his lips as they drove their way home to watch the movies Niall had wished on.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Harry had a giant grin plastered on his face as he was placing things inside of his crammed bag, sitting in the middle of a cafe area in school. It was morning, and he shouldn’t have been so happy, because first off Niall had stayed home for the day complaining of a headache, but this week had been surprisingly great.

After Niall had bawled for almost an hour about Zayn last week, even though the blonde had tried to protest and say that wasn’t the reason for his puffy red eyes and giant tears, he had cuddled with Harry the rest of the day and for the remainder of the week he hadn’t left his side.

He demanded Harry’s attention for a good majority of the time, but the curly haired boy didn’t mind one bit. In fact, having Niall grabbing at him and catching him by surprise with little kisses here and there was a giant plus to his week.

He guessed he was so thrilled because he thought Zayn’s confession to Niall would have made the pale boy more distant, but when the boy was holding his hand and wrapping his arms around him a lot more than he normally would on a good week, his heart was able to take a sigh of relief.   
There was still that glint of a possibility that Niall would go running back to Zayn and that’s what he feared the most. He wasn’t sure he could stand to watch Niall dash back to the main reason he suffered for years, and if Harry could keep him safe from that he was going to try his hardest.

Right now though, he was able to say that everything was perfect between Niall and him, and he didn’t want to change a thing about them. Niall made his heart race with every overjoyed emotion there possibly was in the world. Overall he felt like the luckiest guy on the face of the earth to be able to hold him and kiss like he did, and he didn’t want that to be taken away.

He cherished him like no other, loved every detail on his body. Adored every facial expression and every hint of a smile his lips formed. He admired his bravery and hard work, never giving up and keeping strong no matter how hard things got. He relished in his laughter and savored the taste of his lips. Niall was becoming his everything, and he didn’t want it any other way.

At the moment he had wished Niall had come to school, but he knew the boy didn’t feel like getting himself out of bed today. Harry had kissed the blonde’s forehead before he raced down the street trying to get to his first class on time, and he knew Niall was going to be up and waiting for him when he got home. That’s what was getting him through the day.

As he was getting up to walk to his class very slowly, almost as if he didn’t care if he was late now, he felt a strange feeling of glaring eyes boring into the back of his head. He stopped, the area almost empty with only a couple sitting in one of the small couches to his far right. His eyes then shifted to the other side of the room and an insolent smile rested upon his lips, catching deep chestnut eyes, halfway hidden behind the beige wall, fixated on his movements.

“Zayn.” He called out then, letting the boy know he had seen him, his body shifting towards the lad, and he could see how said boy’s crossed arms held a sort of shield between them as he began to walk forward as he was caught by Harry’s sight. A smirk was situated upon his lips, and his eyes held a devious glare.

“Harry.” He retorted coming to a standstill in front of the said boy, their eyes locked onto each other’s with animosity.

“Want to share the reason as to why you’re standing over there glaring at me like that?” He questioned, his tone filled to the brim with annoyance. This in turn made Zayn chuckle in satisfaction.

“I’ve come with a request.” He simply stated, the smirk still plastered on his face along with sly eyes. Harry glared at him then, watching how tough he was trying to act. His build trying to stand tall, like he was trying to tower above him as well as his voice radiating power, but he wouldn’t let it phase him.

Harry had rested his hands inside of his pockets then, restraining from clenching his fists, and cocked his head to the side, trying not to let the other boy see how easily he was getting to him.Even just seeing him made his mood sour. He could only think of the hell he had put Niall through every time he even glanced in his direction. Plus, this time, he was trying to take the blonde away from him, and he was not alright with that.

“And now I’m dying to hear what that might be.” He told him his tone bored, and he could see the way Zayn just shrugged his shoulders with an even wider rotten smile.

“Leave Niall.” Zayn demanded, and Harry’s eyes prepared daggers to throw at the spoken words. Harry tensed, and Zayn could feel the edginess rise in the room. He could tell he was picking at Harry’s irritation, but he didn’t care. He meant every word he expressed. The bastard didn’t deserve Niall. He knew nothing about him.

“Don’t think I can do that mate.” Harry said, trying to act casually like Zayn’s request didn’t bother him a bit, when his insides were burning. “Why would I in the first place?” He asked, making Zayn roll his nettled eyes.

“You know he’s not right for you. He’s mine and you know that.” He declared, and this in turn made Harry puff out a laugh. Zayn glared at him, watching the boy shake his head, his curls bouncing a bit.

“When Niall decides what he wants to do that’s when things will be settled.” He told him, glaring back with just as much malice as the darker skinned boy. “If he chooses you, then I can’t stop him. Doesn’t mean I’m going to disappear, it just means I’ll have to work harder to show him I’m better for him than you.” Harry challenged, and Zayn sneered back stepping closer to him now making Harry only smile knowing he was antagonizing him.

“Fuck off okay? You don’t know anything about him.” He sneered. cutting all the calmness he tried to contain letting his irritation and anger show, but Harry didn’t back down.

“I know plenty about him, and that’s none of your business anyway.” He replied, gritting his teeth now, removing his hands from his pockets and allowing himself to clench his fists. He wasn’t going to take anymore of Zayn’s bullshit. Right now he had Niall, and he didn’t need to prove it to this asshole.

“Niall is my business, I care about him.” Zayn snapped his eyes going wild as Harry provoked him.

“From what I recall you’re the one who up and left him for some psycho bitch who tormented him for years.” Harry gasped silently then as Zayn’s fists grabbed at his shirt yanking him closer. his face filled with rage, but Harry only let a small devilish smile creep onto his lips seeing the boy so flustered.

“You have no fucking right!” He seethed, making Harry retort once again.

“Bullshit I have every right. Just because you were scared of your reputation that didn’t mean that Niall had to suffer as he watched you throw him away like worthless garbage!” He accused, pushing Zayn back with force now, causing the older boy to stumble back a bit.

Harry watched as Zayn clenched his own fists now, and he couldn’t believe this was going to end up becoming a brawl. He didn’t want to fight this trash, he wasn’t worth it. He also didn’t want to upset Niall, especially when things were so perfect.

Harry saw the way Zayn took in a deep breath his eyes rolling into the back of his head for a moment closing them slowly. He watched him closely seeing him internally relaxing himself. When he reopened them, his eyes held a mischievous glint, making Harry bite his lip not liking the glimmer inside of them.

“He’ll never love you like he loves me. I was his first everything, and when I say everything I mean everything.” He shot, making Harry wince. He knew that Zayn had Niall in all the ways he wished he could have. He had taken away all his innocence years ago. There was no hiding that. He knew it, and so did Zayn. With the mocking look showing bluntly in his features, it was pretty obvious he was trying to rile him up.

“Shut the fuck up.” He barked, making Zayn laugh then, as he had finally gotten to him. “You don’t deserve anything that Niall has given you!”

Harry spoke the truth behind his words. If he could have gone back in time and met Niall before all of this had happened he would have. He wished he could have stopped all the heart break from ever happening. He wished he could have been there for him earlier, letting him give up precious things to someone who actually cared, to someone who would have never left him.

Watching Zayn in front of him, bragging about taking those things from the fragile blonde made his skin burn with fury. He didn’t deserve Niall like that, to see him like that, to touch him like that. And that’s what made Harry bite his lip in pure anger.

“I’m just warning you to back down.” Zayn told him, turning to walk away then, like the conversation meant nothing to him anymore, like he had won the fight. This made Harry grit his teeth and snap out his next words.

“If he chooses you, then I will, but if it’s the other way around. Respect his fucking decision and quit making his life so miserable.”

Zayn only waved ignorantly over his shoulder then, ignoring Harry’s spoken words. He smirked inwardly to himself, knowing that no matter how hard Harry had tried there was no way Niall could ever resist him. He knew from the start that they were together forever, even when he thought he couldn’t admit who he really was to the world.

He loved Niall, and Niall loved him and there was no other ending to that story. He wouldn’t run off with someone else who didn’t know him like Zayn did. Besides, he wouldn’t let him. Niall knew deep down that he was right for him, and Harry as of right now, was just someone Niall thought he could replace Zayn with in his life.

Only Niall didn’t know that he was just an obstacle the two needed to overcome.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Zayn had been very persistent all week, not allowing Harry and Niall to have any alone time when he could prevent it. Harry had noticed how Niall was trying his best to stray away from Zayn whenever he was near, holding himself to Harry’s side, attaching himself by the hip and Harry could sense Zayn’s irritation.

Within the past couple of day’s Niall had been surprisingly happier than normal, even with Zayn hanging on the two of them like an annoying pest. Harry minded, but then again he really didn’t because no matter how hard he tried, Niall wasn’t even giving him a second glance, and Harry had never been so proud of him

For Niall to stay strong and keep himself away from Zayn was a tough thing to do. He knew that breaking down and falling for Zayn again would be just that simple, but in the end he knew it would bring him tragic heart break. Besides, giving Zayn a second chance wasn’t anything that bastard deserved. It was everything Niall had ever wanted, to have the boy he used to love come crawling back to him, and eventually he did, but meanwhile he had moved on, and Harry couldn’t have felt any luckier.

It was Harry now, and that made his heart flutter. He was the one who spoiled him with anything and everything he wanted. He was the one to boost the boy’s confidence, reminding him how insanely beautiful he was every day. It was Harry who was able to hold his delicate but firm hand, and walk him to his classes, keeping a smile plastered on his face making sure he was happy at all times. He was allowed to spend almost every waking moment with the beautiful boy and he didn’t want to change a thing.

He was the one who was able to hold Niall, allowing him to make him feel special and loved as he slowly kissed him on the couch at night savoring every single movement of their lips. Harry loved kissing him, his hand now able to roam Niall’s pale smooth skin, trying to map out every part of him. He peppered light kisses down his jaw line towards the inviting skin on his neck as he would nip there gently making the blonde bite down on his lips and sigh out in pleasure.

He was comfortable around him, being able to laugh and joke and goof around like mates, but then was able to share quiet secrets and let him see his vulnerable almost insecure shy side.

He had a best friend and practically a boyfriend all in one.

That was the only thing that was missing. The title.

Even though that didn’t bother Harry that much. He and Niall were together by heart, knowing that he was faithful just as Niall was to him. Besides there was no one else he wanted anyway. He had everything he wanted right in front of him.

And he was desperately hoping that the precious blonde he cared so much for could say the same.

~

Niall was alone, and he didn’t like it. He wanted to be with Harry, but said boy was working at the current moment, and obviously Niall wasn’t so he was sitting by himself inside his house bored on a week night. It wasn’t fair that Harry had to work the late night shift today.

He sighed leaning his head back, sprawled out on the couch, his limbs hanging off the sides. He was supposed to go and meet Harry to walk home with him from work in about an hour or so and waiting felt like an eternity. He couldn’t find anyway to entertain himself, so eventually after eating a bowl of cereal and throwing on a jacket, he decided to go bother Harry at work for an hour before he got out.

It wasn’t a long walk obviously, with Harry and him living right around the corner so he hadn’t really grabbed anything to keep his hands or neck warm. It was frigid outside, and he hated this time of year but there was nothing he could do about it so he might as well just stop complaining. He knew that Harry would probably be swamped at work because the blistering cold weather usually brought in hot chocolate craving customers.

When he stepped outside he was slapped in the face with instant freezing wind. He rammed his hands into his pockets and started to walk himself down the street. The streets were quite empty, usually being a little crowded, but he guessed since it felt like it was negative thirty outside people were refraining from leaving their warm apartments.

The leafless drooping trees seemed to shiver in the wind along with Niall. He noticed how naked they looked swaying back and forth. The dark clouds above him, looking fierce ready to drop some heavy snow, loomed across town. There were no birds to chirp or wildlife dancing around him to fill the silence. This time of the year was dead, and it brought a chilling feeling, just like the deathly air.

The blonde boy’s ears perked up then as he heard footsteps behind him. Usually he would pay it no mind because people always ran on the street, they were always in a hurry, but this time they sounded different. He felt as if the steps were trying to catch up with him. That’s when he stopped in his tracks, and began to turn around slowly.

When he did he felt like his heart was punched out through his chest and now was bleeding out on the icy ground. He saw behind him dark flawless skin and jet black hair perfectly styled with coffee swirled colored eyes smiling just like his lips, waving frantically at him.

“Niall babe!” Niall wanted to scream, and he felt as if he almost did when Zayn came bounding up next to him and wrapped an arm around the blonde’s shoulder. His own eyes were wide now staring at the other with confusion and bewilderment. Yet Zayn’s arm only tightened seeing this look, and never let that dashing smile fall from his lips.

“Zayn?” Niall had to question as the other pulled away for a slight moment, taking this chance to rip himself completely out of his grip. He saw the way Zayn pouted but didn’t care in the slightest, especially since he was stepping up close again, space becoming irrelevant. “What the hell are you doing?”

It was strange as well how Zayn had randomly showed up out of no where the exact same time Niall had decided to go for a walk, but he could understand because that’s how his life worked, and sometimes he was really unfortunate and unlucky.

“I was just thinking that today that we could hang out?” Zayn’s eyes held this weird passion that Niall hadn’t seen in a long time, and somewhere deep in his mind the memories were stirring once again. That’s one thing that was strange about all this, just the fact that the smallest thing could bring up a certain moment in the past. It also kind of almost made Niall half want to step closer to Zayn to get to feel and live that remembrance.

But then again he wasn’t a fool anymore.

“Um, I was supposed to-” He began, trying to come up with some sort of excuse to remove himself from this awkward situation, but obviously Zayn was having none of it as he quickly interrupted him.

“Well reschedule. We have to talk.” He demanded, and this made Niall feel the need to stand his ground. The bossy tone in his voice was starting to irritate him, because there was nothing they needed to discuss and there was no way he was going to cancel his plans with Harry for Zayn’s ignorant ass.

“Zayn, I need to meet Harry soon.” Niall stated firmly, holding himself tall and this caused Zayn to back down some. The raven haired boy knew that he couldn’t upset Niall or everything he had planned was going to go to waste. He didn’t need the boy to go storming off in fits of rage because he was too dumb to control himself.

Niall watched as Zayn took in a deep breath and the smile which had faded came back into view. Niall shivered as he noticed the chilled wind around him started to pick up once again, along with the fact that Zayn’s lips were grabbing attention of his eyes. He instantly bit his lip and dragged his gaze away.

“Please Ni, reschedule.” Zayn sounded as if he were pleading now and the blonde risked the glance back at the other’s warm pleasant eyes. “Please for me?”

Now there was a pout on the older boy’s face and Niall groaned. He couldn’t believe he let himself fall for that ridiculous face Zayn was pulling on him. His eyes gleamed with hope and his face shone with ambition. Niall rolled his eyes, hearing Zayn chuckle.

“Fine, but only for an hour.” He sadly found himself giving in, because maybe they could talk because he did have a little bit of time, and finally Niall could tell Zayn that nothing was ever going to happen between them ever again. What he really had wanted was for him to say everything he had admitted to Annaleise was a lie. He wished he could have gone back in time himself and never told Zayn to tell her.

Everything would have been much easier if they were married and Niall was in an entire separate world without them. That’s how it was supposed to be anyway, and that’s how Niall thought it was going to work out. But it seems like life comes with tons of surprises. Especially one’s you don’t necessarily want.

“That’s perfect.” Zayn chirped then, his voice way too happy for Niall to work with and he began to walk, sliding his hands into his pockets. When Zayn had noticed the blonde had gotten a head start he jumped up next to him, his shoulders knocking Niall’s own, but the blonde disregarded it, watching ahead, still unsure of what he had just agreed too.

“Where are we going anyway?” He questioned quickly, and Zayn shrugged his shoulders, going quiet for a moment. They’re steps tapped together simultaneously, the twigs of trees snapping in the wind. Niall felt chills again.

“Just the park. To talk. I just want to talk.” Zayn stated shortly, and Niall looked over at him with wonder, but then shook his head, seeing as the boy wasn’t going to return a glance.

Niall fought harsh with his nerves keeping them down, and at the moment he was succeeding. It made him feel stronger being able to keep those unwanted feelings at bay. His irritation was still slowly cooking in his stomach as he felt again another cold whip of air slap him across the face.

“It’s freezing out here. I don’t have my gloves, why are we out here?” He could only hear Zayn laugh a bit as he turned around to face the blonde instantly, leaning in close, with Niall blinking his eyes wide.

“Still complaining I see.” He indicated, making a scowl form on Niall’s face especially now since Zayn had reached down and intertwined their fingers, causing Niall to try and pull his away, but Zayn’s hands were clamped down onto them.

“Don’t.” Niall warned, caution in his voice along with a waver of hurt. Niall didn’t want Zayn to think there was any chance of him talking Niall into anything pertaining to him. There was no way Niall was going to fall for him again. Never again. He couldn’t. No.

Zayn didn’t find it to be a big deal though as he dragged the smaller boy by his hand through the park smiling, his thumb rubbing over the back of Niall’s hand like he normally would. This made the younger blush a bit, trying to tug his hand away once again, but like before the attempt failed.

“Come on Niall, you know my hands are bigger than yours. Whenever your hands would be cold I would warm them up like this.”

“I remember, thanks.” Niall instantly shot back, not wanting to reminisce and not wanting to talk about old times. He noticed the way Zayn frowned but he didn’t care. This entire walk and the whole idea of talking was becoming less and less appealing to Niall now.

“Listen,” Zayn tried then, squeezing the boy’s hand, “I know you don’t want to talk about this right now-”

“You’re right, I don’t.” Niall snapped cutting him off, but Zayn ignored it, trying to continue. He took a deep breath then, chancing a glance at the blonde, plastering a serious look on his face and and placing a sincere tone into his voice.

“But I just want to tell you that I want you Niall.” He admitted, and he watched as Niall’s eyes fluttered shut but he continued anyway. “I miss you, I need you with me.”

Niall could feel his heart beat quickening, and he should have prepared himself a little better in the past ten minutes because he knew this was coming. It seemed recently like Zayn was relentless, and maybe he did have good intentions, and maybe he did want to start everything over again but he just couldn’t.

Everything ended the day Zayn said goodbye and Niall knew it. No matter how much he cried or begged for Zayn to come back into his life it never happened, and now, after he accepted the fact that Zayn had broken him and shattered his being, he was able to build himself back together and found someone who cared, and he couldn’t just erase that.

What he had now was more important than ever, and Zayn bringing back a shattered dream and a hope of a memory wasn’t going to let him mess it up. Harry helped him find his courage of independence, even if he did need the boy’s shoulder every now and again to help him get back on track, but he knew if it wasn’t for the boy he loved so dearly right now, he would still be a lost soul traveling the streets of London with a broken spirit and an absent mind.

“Zayn, I don’t- I can’t-” He stuttered, unable to come up with a sentence, shaking his head trying to back away from the boy who was reeling him in closer by his arm.

“Please just come over and let’s be the old us just for a while. I promise you won’t regret it.” Zayn proposed, and Niall was clenching his eyes shut, not wanting to agree. It was toxic for him, this accidental meet up was nothing but a pit of acid he had unfortunately fell into.

“Zayn. Stop.” Niall pleaded weakly, a small pout on his face, hoping Zayn would let him go, but the blonde’s eyes shot wide as he saw Zayn actually leaning in even closer than before. Then before Niall’s mind could process his next thought, Zayn’s lips moved in quickly becoming a blur but ended up crashing against his cool, pink, stained cheek in the nick of time.

“Zayn what the fu-!”

“Sorry.” He chuckled out against the blonde’s cheek, and Niall could feel his entire body burning with anger and the blush that was forming wasn’t helping him out either. “It is half your fault though I just can’t help it when you have that cute look on your face.” Zayn tried to come up with an excuse, biting his lip throwing at him a seductive look, but it was shit and Niall was fuming.

“Well, control yourself.” Niall chided, gritting his teeth seeing that smile resting on Zayn’s lips looking as if he had done nothing wrong.

“Feisty.” Zayn smirked at him then, winking his pretty eyes and Niall scoffed as Zayn was then pulling him down the street like a dog on a leash, with Niall’s eyes boring into the back of Zayn’s head knowing he was leading him to a place he did not want to end up at.

~

Niall’s leg was tapping a mile a minute as he sat on the green couch in Zayn’s tiny living room. His sight was over sensitive, properly and carefully watching Zayn to the side of him for the past thirty minutes. Zayn had practically done nothing but stare at him the entire time he had been inside his little house.

He had made Niall welcome to his home, even though the blonde wanted nothing to do with any plan Zayn was arranging, but he sighed out and reluctantly agreed to visit for just a little while. He knew he needed to meet up with Harry very soon, so he made that an excuse not to stay long, but even when he brought it up, Zayn seemed to brush it past him.

Niall felt himself cringe when Zayn popped off the couch with a puff of annoyed air flying out of his lips. They had just been sitting there and he could understand why Zayn was getting irritated.The blonde was being completely unresponsive and played off a blatantly annoyed attitude.

Niall chanced a look then and watched the boy stalk into the kitchen while running a hand through his dark messed up hair. When he noticed the boy was out of sight he let himself stop tensing.

He couldn’t help it, especially with his favorite movie he used to watch with Zayn, almost every single time he slept over, playing on the surprisingly giant t.v screen. He let his eyes linger on the pixels for a moment smiling at the familiar picture. He continued to scan his surroundings noticing the tea cup set upon the table with two sugar packets on the side, Zayn knowing just how Niall liked it.

He knew what he was doing. He was trying to bring back the memories of the past. And Niall didn’t want to admit it, but he could feel the nostalgia. Even the blankets on the couch, Niall had ran his fingers over, he remembered. It was Niall’s favorite, the white and red fluffy blanket, which Zayn would always try and steal from him. He was surprised he still had it.

Niall almost jumped off the couch and fell onto the pattern floor when he heard Zayn’s voice, sudden and strained.

“Niall, this is seriously killing me.” He was leaning against the frame leading to the kitchen, and Niall had turned around to see the boy’s pained face, and upset body language. His hand was running through his short hair, with his other playing nervously with the objects hanging around in his pocket.

Niall bit his lip, and Zayn’s gentle eyes followed.

“This is killing me too.” He spoke gingerly, the harsh tone had completely evaporated from his voice, and he winced when he realized how utterly weak he sounded. But with Zayn staring at him like that, and the events happening among him, his heart couldn’t handle it.

He turned back around then, his hands fiddling in his lap as he heard Zayn’s soft footsteps approaching from behind him. He closed his eyes knowing this was bad. His heart was hammering and his mind was racing. His breath even hitched when he felt Zayn’s soft fingertips touching carefully at his cheek.

“Niall, please, look at me.” Zayn begged, and Niall slowly opened his bright eyes, a hopeless look sparkling inside of them, and Zayn noticed.

It was then when Niall realized how close Zayn’s body was to his own. His gentle touch attracting Niall closer. Their eyes were locked, rippling clear crystal water crashing into sandy beach swirls. Zayn’s head was tilting ever so slightly, and Niall felt his lips part just a little. The only thing Niall could hear was his faint heart beating in his ears.

Niall wanted to jerk back when he felt Zayn’s breath mixing with his. He was pulling away. His entire body was trying to react but the signals from his mind were slow. When Zayn finally pushed through and slotted their lips, the first tears fell from Niall’s eyes. He hadn’t even known they were waiting to break free from his lids.

Niall gently pushed against Zayn’s chest, causing the boy to grunt in dissatisfaction, grabbing the blonde’s hand and intertwining their fingers carefully.

“Just, let me kiss you Niall please. I’m craving you so bad.” Zayn whispered softly against his lips, but Niall’s body was shaking, along with his head back and forth wildly.

“Zayn, please why are you doing this.” He questioned, staring at the boy intently. Niall was breaking inside, every single part of him collapsing in on himself. He knew this was going to happen, he knew Zayn was going to try this. His sabotage plan of trying to remind Niall of who they used to be and how happy they were thinking maybe it would make the blonde fall to him just like he had years back.

He felt Zayn inch closer, cradling Niall’s cheek in his right hand, and keeping their laced fingers together. Niall shivered.

“Because I need to make you see that I really love you. I do Niall, and I don’t want to lose you, and I can’t figure out why I am again.” His fingers were playing with Niall’s soft hair now, knowing that would always calm the blonde down. Niall listened to his words which were stabbing at him, this anger yet guilt building inside of him, knowing that maybe all of this could have been prevented if Zayn stayed true to who he was all that time ago.

But that wasn’t the case, and sadly Niall had moved on.

“Because I found someone who cared for me. Someone who would never leave me.” He grabbed onto Zayn’s hand then squeezing back, as if apologizing and accusing at the same time. The words laced with a goodbye inside of his tone. Zayn had to know, that they could never be. Not again, not after all the lies and the hardship.

“Are you sure about that?” Zayn questioned harshly, as he gripped onto him even harder, pulling him in even closer, his arm wrapped around the blonde’s waist now. Niall gasped and his eyes widened looking into Zayn’s burning ones. His anger evident, and his regret dripping off of him. Niall could see it, but he couldn’t allow himself to give in.

“I’m positive.” Niall tried to sound confident, but it was lacking in his voice.

“But he doesn’t know you like I do.” Zayn stated quickly, pushing Niall down onto his back then slowly. Niall’s body went into shock and he wanted to retaliate, but he couldn’t, he could only shake and fall under Zayn. “He doesn’t know where you loved to be kissed the most.”

Niall let out a silent gasp when Zayn kissed meaningfully at the outline of his jaw, causing him to blush furiously, his fingers scrabbling at Zayn’s shirt. He could feel Zayn’s slight smirk against his burning skin. “He doesn’t know that you like when someone’s teases your bottom lip with their teeth.”

He mentioned, and then Niall clenched his eyes shut as Zayn then collided their lips, kissing him softly for a moment before pulling gingerly at Niall’s bottom lip, making the boy whine. Niall couldn’t believe what he was doing. He was completely out of his mind. Niall was floating somewhere outside of his body, unsure of what exactly was happening.

He wanted it to stop, but then again he wanted Zayn because he missed him. He wanted his old Zayn and this was what he was being given. He was selfish though, because he didn’t need this anymore, because he had Harry. He was so confused on what to do and when he realized Zayn wasn’t going to stop, his mind went blank, and he laid there. His heart shattering once again.

“He doesn’t know that spot right between your shoulder and neck where you go weak and fall pliant to them.” Niall moaned then as Zayn sucked on that said spot, his hands clenching into his shirt, and a few tears slipped past his hopeless eyes. It felt just like he remembered. Zayn knew exactly what he liked, there was no way to deny it. He even heard Zayn chuckle, because he had proved it with the soft moans falling from the blondes’s lips. “He doesn’t know how to get you to moan like I do.”

“D-Don’t.” Niall whispered, but Zayn just bent down and kissed his lips again, shutting him up.

“You know it’s true.”

“Harry knows me. He does.” He mumbled, knowing Zayn wouldn’t believe his words, but it was true. Maybe the boy didn’t know everything, but neither did Zayn. Niall had changed over the years, and Harry was the one who knew him better now. Harry could read the boy like an open book, and he knew exactly how Niall was feeling at all times. He respected him and loved him and Niall couldn’t ask for anything more.

He knew when to make him feel better and knew how to perfectly cheer him up. He kissed Niall with purpose, with every single second filled with more passion than the one before. Every look thrown in his direction was laced with care and affection. He made Niall blush with love, he made him happier than he ever was, and that was important to him.

“No, he doesn’t.”

Zayn wasn’t listening, and Niall knew he wasn’t when his hand was slowly trickling it’s way up Niall’s shirt. His cold fingers trailing and resting upon his stomach, swirling little patterns against his tender skin. Niall bit his lip and tried to grab at the hand, but Zayn held him down, yet Niall was hardly putting up a fight.

The blonde never actually had the thought in his mind that Zayn would ever do something like this to him. He thought that Zayn knew him well enough to know when he didn’t want something, and right now he wanted to run so far away and never look back and see Zayn ever again.

The way he was kissing at his lips blocking his airways was making his heart beat out of control. His hands were trailing the familiar paths from the old days, knowing the dips and curves on Niall’s pale skin. His eyes were spilling out small amounts of tears when Zayn’s hand went to fiddle with Niall’s button on his pants.

“I-I can’t do this while you’re crying Niall, please stop.” Zayn suddenly whispered then, his lips kissing Niall’s cheek, and the blonde’s eyes shot wide hearing those words. It seemed to have broken him out of his trance then as he was pushing against Zayn’s chest realizing what the boy was really doing.

He didn’t want this. He wanted Harry. His mind was swimming with the question, where the fuck was Harry?

“I don’t- I don’t want this.” Niall hiccuped but yelled out. He felt how Zayn’s hand tightened next to him and the boy was slowly pulling himself away. Niall looked up, Zayn’s shadowed face stained with Niall’s tears and when he stared straight into his broken eyes there was hurt present inside of them, knowing that Zayn really was being torn up on the inside.

“Then why aren’t you stopping me?” His teeth clenched and Niall bit his lip. “Why aren’t you pushing me away?” He questioned sadly, and his eyes were pouring emotion into Niall making more tears slip past his eyes.

“B-Because this is everything I have ever wanted f-for the longest time, and I don’t know what to do.” He confessed, making Zayn wince a little. “Harry’s the one I want Zayn, but I k-know I still love you, but not as much as I have come to realize how much I love him.”

He saw Zayn’s face change then, watching the tears pour down the blonde’s cheeks. His feelings radiating and his heart cracking as he saw Zayn shake his head a sigh falling from his lips, as he pulled away from him completely, leaving Niall laying on his back while sitting next to him quietly on the couch.

Niall then began to bawl. He was breaking himself apart. It was over now. There would be no more history to their story, and he wasn’t so sure he liked the horrible ending. It was just a matter of time before Zayn kicked him out knowing he was going to be mad and as much as that was probably good for the blonde, he was losing Zayn again.

Zayn was his first love, and he had learned so much from him. From their special moments to their awful mistakes. And as much as he hated or loved this boy, losing him again wasn’t going to be simple, even if he wished for him to disappear a million times, seeing him falling away from his life was not easy.

He then felt a hand pressed onto his knee rubbing back and forth gently. His body conducting the warmth and the caring touch being welcomed. He looked up past his blurry eyes to see a smiling Zayn, which did not look forced in the least.

“Niall, I’m sorry, okay? Please, just don’t cry anymore.” He pleaded, and Niall swallowed thickly, holding back another wave of tears. He sat up quickly, rubbing at his red stained eyes, knowing he looked like a mess.

“Please, t-take me home.” He begged, and Zayn was nodding his head gingerly, and Niall didn’t understand the entire new personality Zayn was sporting at the moment, but he didn’t mind because it was more calming than the other Zayn.

“Alright. Just stop crying please?”

It was then when Zayn pulled Niall up by his hand, gently squeezing it when the blonde sniffled and rubbed his left eye. Niall didn’t mind either when he didn’t let go.

Their goodbye was felt through their actions as Zayn kissed his burning cheek one last time, slipping on the boy’s coat for him and leading him out the door.

The cold air was ignored by both as they walked hand in hand. It was silent, but it wasn’t as if it was awkward. It was doing more good than a conversation would. The wind was still whirling and now snow was floating around them. Niall didn’t feel the need to look over at Zayn when the boy squeezed his hand again.

“I’m sorry.” He carefully spoke, his head tilting up towards the sky. His eyes following the white abyss. The apology felt weird on his tongue, not even sure he should have spoken those words. But Zayn sighed gently, and Niall thought as if Zayn was breaking too now as his next words were shaky.

“No, I’m sorry I was too late.”

~

The walk had been even short than Niall thought because when he looked to his right, the familair apartment was standing tall above him. Niall felt a tingling sensation inside of him, knowing Harry was inside. He had missed him, and showing up with Zayn to their house probably didn’t look good, but that was alright as long as he didn’t look outside.

Niall felt a tug at his hand then as he went to hop up the stairs and get himself out of the chilly weather, but he looked behind him seeing Zayn’s pouting face and shattered eyes.

“I’m sorry Niall.” He apologized again, and Niall shrugged his shoulders unsure of exactly what to do or say. There was nothing that could be said now, and he knew that, and it seemed anymore words would just be pointless.

“It’s okay.” He told him but Zayn was shaking his head back and forth with purpose.

“When I say that, I mean for everything I put you through. I never wanted to hurt you, but I did and I know it, and I wish I could take it all back.” He was choking up and Niall could hear it, and he couldn’t look at his shining eyes anymore. They were brimmed with tears and Niall couldn’t see him cry. He would break himself and he couldn’t do that anymore.

“Zayn…”

“I love you Ni, and I want you to know that, I always have and I always will.” Zayn smiled at him, his confession stabbing right through Niall’s ribs and penetrating his heart. It hurt even more when he noticed the tears on Zayn’s cheeks. “You were the first person I ever loved, and the only person I love right now and you will forever be the person I truly do love, and Niall,” he said, pulling the boy even closer now, their bodies close. “Will you promise me something?”

“Promise you what?” Niall questioned, his voice unstable at the moment, and Zayn chuckled and brushed the boy’s hair out of his eyes so he could stare right into the beautiful crystals he fell so madly in love with.

“Promise me that you won’t shut me out this time?” Niall felt all the air rush out of his lungs as the words were spoken. Zayn wasn’t leaving. He wasn’t going to leave him. A giant weight felt like it fell from his shoulders then and he crashed himself into Zayn, wrapping his arms around him crushing him tight.

Zayn was surprised but laughed and hugged the boy close to him.

“Even if I can’t have what Harry does now, I want you as a friend. I can’t lose you again.” He told him honestly, and Niall was shaking his head against Zayn’s chest.

“I-I promise.”

“Even though I was too late for you, I still want you apart of me.”

When Niall pulled back, Zayn placed a kiss upon his forehead, and Niall felt himself floating. Zayn was going to stick around and maybe one day they could finally be friends. If everything worked out, and they both found new people he could finally have his Zayn back in his life.

Everything seemed almost a blur now as Zayn was stepping away from him, Niall’s mind whirling as he saw Zayn making his way back up the street waving his hand.

“Stay happy okay?” He yelled out, and Niall nodded, mostly to himself as he saw Zayn walking towards his destination.

“I will.” He whispered, smiling as the boy disappeared in the distance.

~

Harry was humming away in the kitchen washing the dishes with music playing lowly in the background. He was getting a little nervous because Niall hadn’t been answering his phone and he had no idea where he was. When he arrived home the boy still wasn’t in sight and he was supposed to meet with him at work, but he never showed.

He knew he probably had some errands to run so he didn’t think much of it, but he was still thinking he could have shot him a text or something. His plan was to bring that up when he got home, just so next time he knew he was safe. The boy smiled as he heard the door click open then, signling Niall was home. He felt the cold air slip into the room for a moment before it was shut and he turned around to see a blonde who had skipped out on their little date this afternoon.

He had a giant smile on his face now, excited to see the boy and was drying the plate in his hands as he watched Niall undress himself of his winter attire and kick his shoes onto the mat by the door.

“And where was my Niall today? I missed you at closing babe.” Harry said, not sounding annoyed or irritated, because he knew things came up sometimes, and it wasn’t like it was a recurring thing with the blonde.

Harry then almost dropped the plate in his hand as he took a good look at Niall’s face when he lifted his chin to half smile at the curly haired boy. He looked like a mess with bloodshot eyes and bright red cheeks. He looked like he had been crying for hours and Harry practically threw the plate on the counter and rushed over to him.

“Niall?” He questioned instantly nervousness inside of his voice, and he gasped when Niall wrapped his arms around his neck, his hands cold, but he ignored it and quickly held his waist pulling him in closer, feeling the other pressing himself against his body.

“Harry. I love you. I’m so sorry.” He babbled out, and Harry rubbed his back soothingly chuckling a bit, but still scared as hell. Niall looking the way he did was making Harry a nervous wreck.

“Hey, calm down babe where’s this all coming from?” He questioned, pulling him back a bit, and Niall sniffled and shrugged his shoulders.

“It’s just I love you,” He smiled, but then pulled Harry back in and wrapped his arms around him again. “I love you, I love you and I’m so, so, so sorry.”

He rocked the boy then, trying to come up with an answer as to why he was being like this. Niall wasn’t really the type to get all lovey dovey like this, and that’s why confusion was washing over Harry and drowning him.

“I love you too, but Niall what-”

“I don’t love Zayn.” He burst out, and this shocked the curly haired boy a bit. “I know I don’t, not like I love you.” He stated so confidently, and he smiled even wider, pulling back and staring right into his capturing green eyes, biting his lip then.

“No?” Harry’s heart was hammering in his chest. Niall’s confession and proud words were taking him to a whole other world. He felt his heart burst as Niall leaned in and kissed him gently, sparks bursting at the feeling of his lips, soft and warm. When he pulled back again he was blushing.

“I love you. You’ve been there for me. You’re the one who has taken me in and looked after me. You care for me and love me and I couldn’t have fallen in love with someone more perfect than you.” Niall was gushing and Harry loved it but all of this seemed too good to be true. He knew Niall still had feelings for Zayn so for him to just pop up at a random hour of the day after he went missing for a few was kind of making him nervous.

“A-Are you saying-” He went to question but Niall cut him off.

“I don’t want to leave you. I want to be with you.” He said, looking away from Harry now, the biggest smile he had ever seen present on his face.

“Niall, you’re serious? Are you sure about this have you contemplated everything enough?” Harry might have been pushing it, but he wanted this to work out. He wanted Niall to be one hundred percent committed and he he didn’t want him to regret a single moment with him. He was going to spend every day making Niall the happiest guy in the world with the fact that he chose Harry to be the one who was able to have him in all the ways everyone else couldn’t.

Harry’s heart almost choked itself then as he saw the disappointed, embarrassed look on Niall’s face as he spoke his next words.

“Do you not want to be with me? Because-”

“No!” Harry cut him off instantly before he could get another word out.“No oh my gosh don’t even say that. My heart is racing so fast right now it feels like it’s going to split. I’m about to cry like a wuss from tears of joy. I want you Niall don’t think any other way. okay?”

Niall laughed then seeing Harry’s panicked face, and he didn’t waste another second, jumping onto the boy and smashing their lips together, causing Harry to chuckle against his own lips. Niall felt like he wanted this moment to last forever, with Harry’s hands placed at his hips and his lips brushing against his making his heart flutter and soar.

He was happy, and he hadn’t been so utterly happy in such a long time. His heart was mended, and Harry was able to do that, along with Zayn’s help of course, because the ending to their story hadn’t completely been finished yet, knowing that a promising friendship could come out of it. And that was all Niall wanted since the beginning. Zayn’s love.

And now, he had the person who was made just for him by his side and holding him close.

“Thank you, for putting up with me. I know I’ve been a pain in the ass.” Niall apologized, knowing that Harry hadn’t had it easy throughout all this either, with Niall’s constant behavior about Zayn. And Niall couldn’t thank him hard enough for everything he has done for him. Ever since he had met the boy he had been saving him.

“You are worth waiting a million years for love, and I would have waited longer and longer.” He told him, pecking his lips once again. “Even if you would have picked him over me, I still would have continued to fight for you, and I won’t stop because I know others will definitely be trying to steal you from me.”

Niall did his famous eye roll then and smiled wide at the boy holding him dearly.

“I’m never going to leave. I promise you.”

“And I’m going to treat you right.”

“You always have.” Niall blushed again, as Harry smiled fondly at him.

“So, does this mean I can officially say that you’re my awesome best friend slash adorable boyfriend all in one?” Harry asked him, cocking an eyebrow and Niall couldn’t contain the little laugh erupting from his abdomen.

“If you’d let me say the same.” He smiled, sealing the deal with a kiss pressed to Harry’s lips.

“I wouldn’t want it any other way babe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that’s the end guys, i hope you kind of enjoyed it and you didn’t hate it too much, let me know what you think, it means a lot and thank you so much for reading it means the world to me! Also follow me on tumblr for more fics and posts there, ziallshippingislife.tumblr.com THANKS !

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading guys, and part two will be up soon, I hope you guys like it so far I really do. Leave a comment if you liked it? I would love to get some feedback and I really appreciate it, even though I feel like no ones reading.. But also follow me on tumblr it would mean a lot Ziallshippingislife.tumblr.com


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